How I Met Your Mother – The Final Page Part 1

S08xE11- Ted’s GNB building is opening and he’s invited his college professor to the opening. This professor once told Ted that he’s never going to be an architect. So Ted’s out to prove his professor wrong. But when Ted gets his invitation back in the mail with a note that the professor doesn’t know who he is, Ted’s determined to go down to the college and make him remember. So Barney, Lily and Marshall go along for the ride. Barney has been jinxed this entire time after saying something at the exact same time as Marshall. Barney takes jinxes seriously and you’re not supposed to speak until someone releases you from the silence by saying your name. The gang is taking delight in the fact that Barney can’t speak, and proceed to drive him crazy.

Lily and Marshall have an old college acquaintance (Seth Green) that they are totally creeped out about. He was a little obsessed with Lily and Marshall back in the day. Turns out he’s still at the college running a hackey sack store named after the Three Hackmigos. Creepy friend then invites Marshall and Lily to his house, and Marshall and Barney have one of the silent eye movement conversations. Barney is promising to lie their way out of having to go if Marshall releases the jinx. Marshall doesn’t want to so he agrees to go to creepy friend’s house. When they get there they head to the basement which is definitely creepy, but there they find out that this dude is doing really well with his store, and wanted to give Lily and Marshall a $100,000 check for their part in the store, but when they reveal that they thought he was going to kill them, creepy friend tears up the check. Oh well.

Meanwhile Robin has been given the task of having to do employee reviews and firing a few people. Among the reviews she has to do is Patrice’s. She sees this as a perfect opportunity to get her revenge on Patrice by firing her. And she does, but then Patrice makes Robin realize that she’s only firing Patrice because of Barney. So she lets Patrice keep her job.

Ted goes to his professor’s classroom with the intention of showing off his architectural achievement, but ends up admiring the professor all over again, and when he confronts him, and shows him a picture of the GNB building, the professor once again tells Ted he’ll never be an architect. This sparks Ted to try and prove him wrong again by building a 3D model of the building, but Marshall and Lily talk him out of showing it to the professor. Unfortunately he sees it anyway and basically calls Ted pathetic.

So back in the car ready to head home are Ted and Barney. Barney is still jinxed and they are waiting for Lily and Marshall to join them. Barney tries to get Ted to say his name which isn’t working until Barney shows Ted a ring. This gets Ted to say Barney’s name, and then Barney jinxes Ted, so he can say what he needs to say without Ted’s interruption. Here Barney tells Ted that he’s going to propose to Patrice and Ted can’t say a word to anybody about it. Ted agrees because his balls are at stake if he breaks the jinx swear.

Best of the episode: The mini Buffy reunion.

Worst of the episode: Ted trying to impress his professor who is a douche.

Where does this episode leave us: Barney is going to propose to Patrice! Wha???  Stay tuned for Part 2.

What this episode ruined for us: Not jinxing!

Rating:

– a la Chryshele

Mike & Molly – Karaoke Christmas

S03xE10 – The Captain wants Mike to spend Christmas Eve with his mother, but Molly doesn’t know that yet. But when they actually go over there, they end up having a pretty ok time. At least Mike’s mom was happy, which doesn’t happen often. The Captain even let Mike call him by his first name. Progress! Vince decided to get a toupee for Christmas. I think it’s a gift that gave to not only himself, but Joyce as well. She could not stop petting Vince’s new rug. Victoria’s present is a karaoke machine that was to be a joint gift from both Molly and Harry, but Molly maxed out all of her cards, and couldn’t pay Harry her portion. So Harry got to give the gift to Victoria on his own, and they kinda sorta bonded over it. Precious.

Best of the episode: Mike and Molly having to spend Christmas eve with Mike’s mom and the Captain, which involved going to mass.

Worst of the episode: Vince’s toupee.

Where did this episode leave us?: Vince has a toupee that makes him apparently look like Al Pacino. I don’t dig it, but Joyce really does.

What this episode ruined for us: Credit Cards and Toupees

Rating:

– a la Chryshele

Hawaii Five-0 – Kahu

S03xE11 – McGarrett sees a boy at the station that is in need of help. Turns out his father has gone missing, and McGarrett is taking on the search. Through the search they find out that this boy’s father has got himself into a bit of trouble. He’s been messing with the wrong people. Moonshiners. Well we find out that daddy dearest has been taken prisoner by the baddies and they want money in exchange for him keeping his life. So dad leads them to his house where his son happens to be along with Katherine. When the baddies find out the money isn’t there, dad and son are about to die, but Katherine kicks into action just as McGarrett and the rest of the team storm in after figuring out the whole story. Everyone is alright and dad and son are reunited.

Best of the episode: George Takei guest starring as Chin’s uncle!

Worst of the episode: Not a long enough guest stint for George Takei.

Where this episode leaves us: Catherine and McGarrett’s relationship is still trying to be defined. And Catherine is going on leave again soon.

What this episode ruined for us: Moonshine

Rating:

– a la Chryshele

Grey’s Anatomy – Run, Baby, Run

via

S09xE09 – It’s Bailey’s wedding and she asks Callie, Arizona and Meredith to wear red dresses and not to sit down = bridesmaids. Jackson and April need to avoid each other so they each bring interns as dates. Jackson asks his intern date to bring a friend for Karev, which obviously turns out to be Baby Heigl. Neve Campbell is still there as Derek’s sister and she is giving up nerves in both her legs to help out Derek. The surgery seems to go over well and Meredith lets her in on her secret pregnancy (she hasn’t even told Christina, whoa). Christina learns (from Meredith) that Owen mainly asked for the divorce because of the conflict with their court case. She tells him she wanted to try again so they proceed to make out. Bailey can’t tell if she has cold feet or if she is truly doubting getting married, Callie jokes with her about running but doesn’t think she’ll take it seriously. The Chief picks Bailey up in her dress to drive her to the wedding when he gets a call that Adele is being rushed to their hospital. Bailey turns them around and takes Adele into surgery. Ben overhears Callie telling Meredith and Arizona that she thinks she might have freaked out Bailey so he is worried that she isn’t going to come to the wedding.

Best of the episode: Meredith opening up to her in-laws and Owen and Christina finally showing emotion toward each other.

Worst of the episode: Man, poor Adele, that was just too sad.

Where this episode leaves us: Will Meredith open up to Christina again? Will Bailey get married? ADELE? Owen and Christina…? Yay?

What this episode ruined for us: Weddings. Again. God, this episode ruins a lot of weddings.

Rating:

Glee – Glee, Actually

via

S04xE10 – In several storylines (like the movie it’s referencing Love, Actually), Artie realizes that had he never had an accident and lost his ability to walk he would have never had the friends in the glee club. Kurt and Blaine reunite in NYC with the help of Burt Hummel, who we learn has prostate cancer. The Puckerman’s celebrate Hanukkah with their respective mothers, Brittany and Trouty Mouth get Mayan-married only to learn there is no apocalypse. Coach Biest feels sad for them so she tells them that there is a NEW date for the end of the world, and it’s a few years away, September of 2014. Sue provides help for Marley and her mother since their entire Christmas fund is going to therapy sessions to get Marley over her eating disorder.

Best of the episode: This entire episode was wonderfully done, thank you Adam Shankman for being the best director ever. I will have to say that Sue/Marley’s family storyline definitely was the most tender.

Worst of the episode: Not a lot of Rachel or Finn, but maybe that’s okay? And I did miss Santana and Quinn.

Where this episode leaves us: What will happen with Kurt and Blaine? Please say nothing else sad happens to Burt. Will the rest of the cast just come back already?

What this episode ruined for us: Surprises from parents, they always have sad news.

Rating:

Holler, Jordan

The Vampire Diaries – Oh Come, All Ye Faithful

S04xE09 – Damon is mad at himself because he didn’t send Elena away. She’s mad because he won’t express his true feelings for her. Jeremy has been sent to the family lake house to have Bonnie help him subside his urge to kill Elena. Elena plans to head out to the house too, in hopes that her presence can help the situation. She invites Damon along for the ride. Elena also invited professor Shane to help, much to Damon’s disapproval. Stefan has moved out of the Salvatore house, but I’m not sure where he’s staying. Tyler and Hayley are still working on breaking the sire bonds of the hybrids, but Haley is still working on her alternate agenda with professor Shane. Tyler has been convinced that he should place Klaus inside his body once again and then encase his body in concrete until the hybrids disappear away from Klaus. Caroline is not exactly thrilled about this idea. At the lake house Jeremy is having a hard time not killing Elena, but Bonnie is able to work her magic and through hypnosis turn off his urge to kill her. Caroline talks with Stefan about Tyler’s plan and they come up with the idea of placing Klaus inside Rebekah’s body that is already staked and waiting. Hayley obviously doesn’t like this idea and let’s professor Shane know about it, whom of which tells her to fix it. By fixing it she sends all of the hybrids into the forest, and Klaus ends up killing them all. Hayley needed the twelve hybrids for the sacrifice. Dark magic is in the works. And because Klaus thinks Tyler was behind the whole thing, he goes to find him, and instead finds his mother who he drowns to hurt Tyler. I’m not sure how professor Shane is going to act after hearing about all of this. Oh and April happened to witness a bunch of vampire and hybrid killing, and because she’s wearing Jeremy’s vervane bracelet, there’s no telling her to forget things. This is going to play into something somewhere. And Damon dismissed Elena in hopes it will break the sire bond. We shall see if this happens. Stefan wasn’t too happy to hear from Caroline that Damon and Elena are together.

Best of the episode: Klaus’ killing spree. Not gonna lie it was kinda cool.

Worst of the episode: Stefan thinking Damon and Elena are really together. This is so complicated!

Where did this episode leave us: Jeremy is seemingly able to fight the urge to kill Elena, but who knows how long that will last. All of the hybrids are dead, and so is Tyler’s mother. Tyler is officially an orphan.

Best one-liner: Caroline to Stefan -“Is this you in crisis mode? Because it’s a lot more subtle than mine.”

What this episode ruined for us: Hayley (not hard to do)

Rating: 

– a la Chryshele

The Big Bang Theory – The Santa Simulation

S06xE11 – The guys have a tradition where they play D&D (Dungeons & Dragons) every year, and so they break it to their girls that they aren’t invited, and will need to find something else to do. So the girls decide to spend a night out at a bar in their hottest attire. Some dressed more scantily than others. The guys have started playing their game which Leonard has created a holiday themed quest to save Santa. Raj unfortunately is killed early on, so when the girls stop by to show off their hotness before heading out, Raj asks to join the girl’s night out. Penny obliges, and they decide at the bar that they are going to try and find Raj a woman. This doesn’t go very well, and even goes worse when Raj brings up the fact that he once had the hots for both Penny and Bernadette. Amy hopeful she was also of interest to Raj at one time has her bubble burst when Raj is emphatic that he never had feelings for her. Then she uses her womanly wiles to relate to Raj in the constant rejection department which make Raj start to like her, and this pleases Amy who rejects Raj, and now he wants her more. Confused yet? Back at the D&D game, the guys have made their way to finding Santa and are about to save him, when Sheldon paralyzes both Howard and Stewart and opts to leave Santa to die because he didn’t bring his Pop pop back to life when he was a child. Leonard is less than thrilled about this outcome because he gave up sex with his girlfriend to play D&D and have Sheldon ruin the game. All is well though because that night Sheldon has a dream that Santa stops by to apologize for not bringing his Pop pop back, and then tries to kill Sheldon. You know what they say about karma…

Best of the episode: Santa trying to kill Sheldon. Pure gold.

Worst of the episode: Realizing that I’m not one who would really enjoy D&D much.

Where this episode leaves us: Raj needs a girlfriend.

Best one-liner: Santa – “Ho ho ho you big dork!”

What this episode ruined for us: Santa a little

Rating:

– a la Chryshele

Modern Family – Diamond in the Rough

S04xE10 – Cam and Claire are building a baseball field for Luke and Manny’s team. Seems all the other ones are taken, so they’re creating a new one. In the meantime they learn of a house for sale nearby, and Cam and Claire get the genius idea of flipping the house. When they have Phil and Mitchell come take a look, they seem all for it, but neither of them really think it’s a good idea. And they decide to tell their own spouse, but Phil chickens out and leaves Mitchell looking like the bad guy. So they go back and forth with threats until during a text fight they don’t realize it’s a group text and Claire is getting them as well. The jig is up. So now Cam and Claire are upset because their men don’t believe in them. But when Phil and Mitchell come to watch the baseball game, they see how great of a job they did on the field, and they start to think maybe they really can flip a house. They all agree to do it, and when they tell Jay, he tells them it’s a horrible idea and that it will end in no one speaking to each other. They start to rethink the house flipping, until the woman selling the house calls and says she has an offer put in, and then next thing we know Cam, Mitchell, Claire and Phil have bought the house. This shall be interesting.

Meanwhile Gloria has taken to the idea of the baby needing to hear her voice because it’s supposed to be soothing, but when she starts singing to the baby, Jay has to intervene. He does so by talking to the baby himself and not letting Gloria have the mic at all. Gloria starts to wonder what is going on, and they start to fight. Manny interrupts the fighting and tells them that the baby should not be surrounded by fighting while in the womb. So Jay takes the opportunity to tell Gloria she’s a horrible singer, and because they can’t fight, Gloria has to take it. But at the baseball game she talks the coach into letting her sing the national anthem to prove to Jay she can sing, and even then she’s horrible. Oh the poor people.

Best of the episode: The threats between Phil and Mitchell.

Worst of the episode: Gloria’s singing. It was more annoying than funny.

Where did this episode leave us?: The siblings are flipping a house together. This could be a total nightmare. But good for a laugh I hope.

Best one-liner: Phil – “That’s the funny thing about marriage, you fall in love with this extraordinary person, and over time they begin to seem ordinary. Maybe it’s all the nagging.”

What this episode ruined for us: Singing

Rating:

– a la Chryshele

The Neighbors – Juan of the Dead

S01xE10 – The neighborhood loves their gardener Juan so much. Max even spends his time with Juan like it’s the best thing in the world. So when Jackie decides to go take a bath at the suggestion of Debbie with the express direction of being in what you were born with only, this prompts Jackie to clap into her alien body which happens to be right as Juan climbs a ladder by the window. Juan has a heart attack and dies. So now the Weaver’s have the pleasure of explaining death to the Zabvronians, which is harder than one would expect. They also have the pleasure of explaining Juan’s death to Max which goes really well…

The Weaver’s decide to take the Zabvronians to Juan’s funeral, but they mistook Debbie’s mention of celebration of Juan’s life as an actual celebration. So they came to the funeral dressed in their best Hawaiian attire, and even brought a roasted pig. They sure know how to celebrate! At the funeral they all share their funny stories about Juan, and then Larry takes it upon himself to bring Juan back to life. Yep. Turns out Larry has a medicine given to him by his father as a just in case, but only had one dose and he used it on Juan. Only problem is that Juan is now basically a zombie. He’s lost the ability to speak, and pretty much walks around aimlessly. It’s the same thing as alive. So because Juan can’t really be their gardener anymore, they send him off to his cousin out of state. Good luck to the cousin.

Best of the episode: Max being confused about life and death after seeing zombie Juan.

Worst of the episode: No Reggie Jackson.

Where this episode leaves us: The neighborhood now needs to find a new gardener it seems.

Best one-liner: Debbie – “Did you just promise our son a murder suicide pact?”

What this episode ruined for us: death

Rating:

– a la Chryshele

The Middle – Twenty Years

S04xE09 – It’s Mike and Frankie’s 20th wedding anniversary, and Sue is planning a big event to celebrate. Frankie on the other hand thinks Mike is bored with her when she sees him ignore a phone call from her, and then finds him midnight eating without her. And it’s not his first time doing it either! For shame. Sue is having horrible luck getting anyone to attend the party she’s planning. Even Big Mike (Mike’s dad) can’t be bothered to attend. No surprise there. Axl angry with Brick for using his guitar as a post-it board, decides that the best revenge is to ruin the ending to a book that Brick has been waiting six years to read. By having the ending ruined, this puts Brick in a catatonic state which worries Axl. When Brick breaks out of it, he explains to Axl just how important books are to him. This makes Axl for a brief moment not think only of himself, but of Brick. Axl writes an alternative ending to the book for Brick. It’s horrible, but Brick appreciates the sentiment. Brick then tells Axl the best way he can make it up to him is by letting Brick read the book to him, so he can better understand Brick’s enjoyment for books. Sue was not the best at keeping the party plans under wraps from the parents, so Mike and Frankie casually sit down on the couch in their best dress and act as if they know nothing. Sue “surprises” them with the party, but because she was so unsuccessful in getting others to attend, the party is for two. Sue attempts to make them dinner and fails. Frankie tries to console a very upset Sue, and then Mike surprises Frankie with a ring. Turns out he was ignoring her call because he was picking up the ring he’d been saving for all year. She had a card for him somewhere. Here’s to another 20 years Mike and Frankie Heck!

Best of the episode: Sue’s attempt at making dinner. She actually charred spaghetti. That takes talent.

Worst of the episode: Axl ruining Brick’s book for him. I totally get the whole living in the world of your book. So I felt Brick’s pain.

Where did this episode leave us?: Mike and Frankie had a nice 20th anniversary even if it wasn’t what they had planned.

Best one-liner: Axl – “Until I see some proof, I will not even address these malicious and spurious charges. Law & Order. Watch it.”

What the episode ruined for us: Spaghetti

Rating:

– a la Chryshele