How I Met Your Mother – The Final Page Part 1

himym5S08xE11- Ted’s GNB building is opening and he’s invited his college professor to the opening. This professor once told Ted that he’s never going to be an architect. So Ted’s out to prove his professor wrong. But when Ted gets his invitation back in the mail with a note that the professor doesn’t know who he is, Ted’s determined to go down to the college and make him remember. So Barney, Lily and Marshall go along for the ride. Barney has been jinxed this entire time after saying something at the exact same time as Marshall. Barney takes jinxes seriously and you’re not supposed to speak until someone releases you from the silence by saying your name. The gang is taking delight in the fact that Barney can’t speak, and proceed to drive him crazy.

Lily and Marshall have an old college acquaintance (Seth Green) that they are totally creeped out about. He was a little obsessed with Lily and Marshall back in the day. Turns out he’s still at the college running a hackey sack store named after the Three Hackmigos. Creepy friend then invites Marshall and Lily to his house, and Marshall and Barney have one of the silent eye movement conversations. Barney is promising to lie their way out of having to go if Marshall releases the jinx. Marshall doesn’t want to so he agrees to go to creepy friend’s house. When they get there they head to the basement which is definitely creepy, but there they find out that this dude is doing really well with his store, and wanted to give Lily and Marshall a $100,000 check for their part in the store, but when they reveal that they thought he was going to kill them, creepy friend tears up the check. Oh well.

Meanwhile Robin has been given the task of having to do employee reviews and firing a few people. Among the reviews she has to do is Patrice’s. She sees this as a perfect opportunity to get her revenge on Patrice by firing her. And she does, but then Patrice makes Robin realize that she’s only firing Patrice because of Barney. So she lets Patrice keep her job.

Ted goes to his professor’s classroom with the intention of showing off his architectural achievement, but ends up admiring the professor all over again, and when he confronts him, and shows him a picture of the GNB building, the professor once again tells Ted he’ll never be an architect. This sparks Ted to try and prove him wrong again by building a 3D model of the building, but Marshall and Lily talk him out of showing it to the professor. Unfortunately he sees it anyway and basically calls Ted pathetic.

So back in the car ready to head home are Ted and Barney. Barney is still jinxed and they are waiting for Lily and Marshall to join them. Barney tries to get Ted to say his name which isn’t working until Barney shows Ted a ring. This gets Ted to say Barney’s name, and then Barney jinxes Ted, so he can say what he needs to say without Ted’s interruption. Here Barney tells Ted that he’s going to propose to Patrice and Ted can’t say a word to anybody about it. Ted agrees because his balls are at stake if he breaks the jinx swear.

Best of the episode: The mini Buffy reunion.

Worst of the episode: Ted trying to impress his professor who is a douche.

Where does this episode leave us: Barney is going to propose to Patrice! Wha???  Stay tuned for Part 2.

What this episode ruined for us: Not jinxing!

Rating: Rating PotatoRating PotatoRating PotatoRating Potato

– a la Chryshele

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How I Met Your Mother – The Over-Correction


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S08xE10 – Robin, being suspicious of Barney and Patrice full-on dating, breaks into his apartment attempting to find Barney’s “Playbook” which she is sure will sabotage the relationship once Patrice learns what a player he is. It doesn’t work, he burns the book to show his love for Patrice. Ted is running around upset that all of his friends borrow things and never return them. Marshall’s mom is back on the dating scene and enlists Lily’s help. She finds an unlikely partner in Lily’s dad.

Best of the episode: I will never tire of Patrice…or Robin acting like a normal girl.

Worst of the episode: The thought of Mickey and Marshall’s mom just creeps me out.

Where does this episode leave us: Will Mickey and Marshall’s mom have a relationship? How long with Patrice last?

What this episode ruined for us: Parents, just, ew.

Rating: Rating PotatoRating PotatoRating Potato

Holler, Jordan

How I Met Your Mother – Lobster Crawl

himym4S08xE09 – Robin is Flirty McFlirtyson with Barney. It’s kinda lame, but she thinks it’s working. Barney on the other hand doesn’t seem to notice. He really has closed the door. Lily pulls Robin aside and tells her she’s acting the way she does when she knows she can’t have something. She just wants it more, and she recalls the Lobster Situation. Robin was told that she’s allergic to lobster and can never eat it again, so Robin went and pigged out on lobster and almost died. She has a problem, she doesn’t like being told no apparently. So now that Barney has told her it will never happen between them, Robin wants him more than ever.

Meanwhile Ted is taking on the duties of nanny while Lily’s father is away. And while Ted was watching little Marvin, he crawled for the first time. Lily is super upset and Marshall is surprisingly handling it well. Ted tries to reassure them by saying he filmed the whole thing, but whoops! he had the camera flipped on him because he uses it to check his teeth. Now Lily is more upset. Then Ted takes Marvin shopping and buys all of his winter clothes for him. More crying from Lily. Ted is enjoying the firsts with Marvin, and when Lily and Marshall see Ted’s book of firsts (which includes a first visit to Santa), they realize it’s because he’s completed his “baby” the GNB tower, and is replacing it with Marvin. Lily and Marshall tell him they’re not holding any grudges toward him, but when we flash forward a few years and Ted has his own baby whom he is handing off to Lily and Marshall to watch for the night, we see them exact their revenge on Ted by taking his daughter to see Santa for the first time. Take that Ted!

Robin has decided that she needs to sleep with Barney in order for her to stop wanting him, much like she did with the lobster. So she heads over to Barney’s in a super sexy outfit, but there’s Patrice sitting on Barney’s couch. They’re on a date!! Barney explained that when he was down and sad Patrice was there to make him feel better, and they spent the night talking and were now on a date playing cards. Robin is sad, and so am I. Why is this so difficult!

Oh and Barney invented the Bro Bib after the death of his favorite tie Cornelius. They’re actually genius and Lily thinks so too. They look like shirts, what’s not to like?

Best of the episode: Ted’s firsts book of the GNB tower.

Worst of the episode: Barney on a date with Robin’s arch-nemesis Patrice. What?

Where this episode leaves us: Three years from now Ted will have a baby, so where is this mother???

Best one-liner: Marshall to Ted at the pool – “You’re half-naked; you’re not a parent to any of these children. Don’t offer them candy.”

What this episode ruined for us: Barney and Robin

Rating: Rating PotatoRating PotatoRating Potato

How I Met Your Mother – Twelve Horny Women


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S08xE08 – While Marshall goes head to head with his ex-collegue Brad, the remainders of the group reminisce over who was the most juvenile badass. Barney knows the baliff at the courthouse where Marshall’s trial is being held but turns out it’s only because he was part of a children’s group that performed magic there. Oy. Robin claimed as Sparkles she destroyed hotel rooms but actually she was the nicest guest ever. Ted was part of a renessaince fair, so he really didn’t do any damage either, however Lily was and still is the scariest goth on the streets of New York City. Barney tells Robin that he will leave her alone now, after trying to kiss her he doesn’t want anything else to ruin their friendship. It seems that after he said that Robin may have had a change of heart.

Best of the episode: Uh, Robin’s change of heart? Yes please.

Worst of the episode: No one was really a badass, especially Ted.

Where this episode leaves us: Really the only progressive storyline was the potential of Robin and Barney.

Best one-liner: Lily as a goth badass – “I make the rules now.”

What this episode ruined for us: Escape artists.

How I Met Your Mother – The Stamp Tramp

S08xE07 – Barney is ready to start hitting the strip clubs again, but is unsure of which one to endorse with his presence. So Robin enlists herself as Barney’s agent to help him make the decision, by negotiating terms with the clubs to see who can offer the best experience for Barney. I look at this as one step closer to Robin and Barney reuniting, and I wasn’t too far off. Barney makes his decision and he and Robin go off for a night of fun. Robin is really drunk, and Barney is drunk too, and they end up kissing. Barney appears more ok with the kiss than Robin does which is sad.

Marshall runs into his old law school friend Brad outside Marshall’s office. Brad is looking pretty down on his luck, so Marshall gets him an interview. And as Marshall is telling the gang about how he’s helped out Brad, they all tell him he’s a stamp tramp, meaning his stamp of approval is used so much that it’s been rendered useless. Basically Marshall has poor judgement. This doesn’t sit well with Marshal as he tries to prove that his stamp is just as good if not better than everybody else’s. Robin proves that Lily is a great stamper, but Ted is a piggy-back stamper, meaning he puts his stamp on something someone else has already stamped.

Ted being offended by this, goes out to prove he’s not a piggy-backer. He’s convinced himself that he was the one that got everyone to listen to the Dishwalla song “What if God Was One of Us”, but Lily steals his thunder and says that it was she that recommended the song. So Ted pulls out his tape diaries to prove Lily wrong, but instead proves himself wrong. Unfortunately for Ted it’s looking like he is a piggy-backer. That is until they come across a tape where Marshall is talking to Ted about Lily who he’s only known for a few weeks. Marshall is falling for her, but isn’t sure if he should commit just yet. Ted tells Marshall to commit to Lily because she’s the best thing that’s happened to him. Lily sees this and takes back the piggy-backer comment. Things are ruined though when the tape keeps going and Ted tells Marshall to bang a few more chicks before making a final decision. Ah well.

So Brad is having his interview, and is totally not impressing Marshall’s boss. It gets so bad that Marshall loses his credibility with his boss and is taken off the huge case. His credibility was already wearing thin with the bad soup incident. Marshall has to earn back his cred with the help of Lily whose stamp has great history. So once Marshall earns back his position on the case, they’re off to court, where they find Brad is the opposing council. Turns out Brad was playing Marshall and his firm the whole time, and used the interview as a way to get in and steal the evidence they have for the case. Marshall’s job now hangs in the balance, because if he doesn’t win the case, he’s fired. Oh no’s!

Best of the episode: Flashbacks to college. Those are always good.

Worst of the episode: Robin not digging the kiss with Barney. I don’t know why she’s fighting the inevitable.

Where this episode leaves us: One step closer to Barney and Robin reuniting, although Robin is pretty reluctant. Marshall’s job is now at risk all because he’s a good guy.

Best one-liner: Barney – Barney Stinson has to do what’s right for Barney Stinson’s penis.”

What this episode ruined for us: Video Diaries

Rating:

– a la Chryshele

How I Met Your Mother – Splitsville


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S08xE06 – Nick and Robin are still going strong with the exception of their sex life, Marshall joined a basketball league with his lawyer buddies, and the five of them are hanging out again eating Chinese like old times. After Victoria and Ted broke up he also joined a basketball league called the T-Squares. Architects and basketball, they spend the entire time analyzing the gym. Robin is starting to realize that Nick is dumb now that they’re not having sex and they’re talking more. Robin is debating dumping him and Marshall is trying to defend his honor because he is afraid of losing to him at basketball. Robin tried to break up with him but go really distracted with his abs. Turns out he gave his identity info to a fortune teller. Barney threatens her with ROBIN AND PATRICE BFF FUN DAY.
Barney tells her about Splitsville, a certified break up place and ice cream shop. Robin takes Nick there, and tries to give him subtle hints but being as he’s dumb he is not following. Not seeing each other = lights out during sex, not working out = more going to the gym together. Nick gets a very distressful phone call though he will not explain what is wrong and now Robin cannot break up with him.
Ted’s team is still not doing well in the league, Robin tells Barney that he needs to delete the BFF FUN DAY invite because Nick got some bad news. Marshall is happy about this because it means he could lose. Turns out the phone call is just that he can’t play basketball for weeks because of his groin injury. NO. MARSHALL IS UPSET. Robin starts getting all hot and bothered because Nick says they can start doing it again and Barney shows up to say that he and Robin are in love.
Barney is now telling Nick that he LOVES Robin and it’s getting really uncomfortable but I think he is sincere and so does Robin. Oy. Is this for real? Meanwhile Ted confronts Marshall and Lily about the fact that they haven’t had sex because they baby interrupts them and they are so tense and really need to do it. Ted babysits for a bit and they get it on.
Barney walks Robin home and is very proud of his acting job. She tells him he was very convincing, they touch each other and…Barney keeps denying he loves her. Until they don’t kiss because her phone rings. OMG PATRICE.
Ted’s basketball team breaks up with him at Splitsville. Sadface!

Best of the episode: THE RETURN OF PATRICE! And hey I didn’t gag over the thought of Barney and Robin.

Worst of the episode: Lack of Ted.

Where this episode leaves us: I think we’ll be seeing Robin and Barney fairly soon fall back in love.

Best one-liner: Nick – “It feels like i have a pulled groin muscle in my heart.”

What this episode ruined for us: Trips to the ice cream shop.

Rating:

Holler, Jordan

How I Met Your Mother – The Autumn Of Break-Ups


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S08xE05 – Barney decided that his next wingman after his breakup with Quinn would be a dog. Lily and Marshall try to find a way to tell Ted that Victoria wants more. After their hangout the night before they tell Ted she was dropping many hints that she was ready to get married. They were together almost a year and that time counts!!! Ted disagrees thinking the clock starts over but Lily and Marshall tell him he is wrong. Robin is worried about Barney being lonely, she tells Nick she wants Barney to hang out with them….even though he was going to make a special dinner to celebrate his cooking show being nominated for an award.
Victoria admits that she has been dropping hints, since she left Claus at the alter she figured they’d move a little faster. She thinks that something is holding them back.
Brover and Barney attend dinner at Nick and Robin’s. Barney can really only talk about the doggy. He tells them what a good wingman they are for each other. All Robin can sense is lonliness.
Ted asks Marshall and Lily what is holding him back from committing to Victoria. She seems to know but he has absolutely no idea. Marshall turns into a southern woman to try and help, but really he just makes Ted more confused. While at dinner, Barney receives a call from Brover’s owner who mentions that he escaped from his kennel while he was on vactation. He needs to return him tomorrow and doesn’t want to live so he tries to jump out the window. Ted proposes to Victoria and she gives him her ultimatum: he cannot be friends with Robin anymore.
He tries to convince her that both he and Robin have moved on but she will always wonder if something will end up coming between them.
Robin decides to go with Barney to return Brover to his owner. She has to tell Nick that he is the man in her life but she has guy friends that need her. It’s a hard place to be in.
When Ted explains his situation to Marshall and Lily, Lily expresses that she gets where Victoria is coming from. It may not be fair, but she gets it. Marshall also explains that he went rogue and gave a bunch of single women bad advice. Go figure. Ted is torn. He knows that Robin will never be the one, but Victoria could be.
Robin and Barney drop off Brover and Barney of course hits on the owner, but not before the owner thought Robin and Barney were a couple. Ah, that’s tender. Oh and Robin has a lesbian aunt! But turns out Robin is a better wingman than Brover was.
Robin tells Nick that she is exclusively his…that is until Ted texts her and tells her he needs to see her. She promises Nick she is his and rushes off.
Ted meets her at Maclarens…but the shot quickly cuts to Ted telling Victoria he cannot give up his friendship with Robin. Now they five of them are all together and Robin has no idea that Ted gave up Victoria for her friendship. Apparently she learns of this later, Lily and Marshall are sworn to secrecy. He covered himself by telling Robin that he needed help with his Mosby boys pre-teen mystery novels.

Best of the episode: Bye Victoria.

Worst of the episode: Not enough Lily and Marshall. Ever since they had a kid their storylines have gone downhill.

Where does this episode leave us: I guess Ted is still looking for the mother…

Best one-liner: Victoria to Ted about Robin – “I really hope you get her someday.”

What this episode ruined for us: Cooking shows.

Rating:

Holler, Jordan