And The Emmy Goes To… (Thoughts by Jordan)

183 random thoughts throughout the Emmys tonight…

1. Right before it even kicks off I find they paired Jim Parsons and Zooey Deschanel to present. Poor Jim.
2. Oh, there she is again in the opening sketch.
3. The great Kathy Bates….and all the nominees for best host.
4. Last years sketch was better.
5. Except Ellen.
6. Cat Deeley shout out in the first minute, way to go!
7. “Are any of you voting…” Nevermind I do not get political on this blog.
8. Bryan Cranston looks good.
9. Hey it’s the guy from Revenge!
10. I don’t watch Madmen and I don’t care.
11. We begin with some comedy. I cannot comment.
12. Louis CK and Amy Poehler. I love him. So much.
13. He looks like he wants to be Johnny Cash.
14. He also doesn’t talk.
15. Supporting actor in a comedy series goes to: some guy from Modern Family.
16. I would have been okay with Max Greenfield or Bill Hader. Damn.
17. Oh here are Jim and Zooey. They look like an awkward couple at prom. Will say, her dress is ridiculously gorgeous though…
18. And Louis CK is a badass. He didn’t even need to say anything to be a badass and to win.
19. BRYAN CRANSTON AND AARON PAUL.
20. The Breaking Bad show, before cable. One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.
21. Miyam Biyalik is sitting in front of Dexter and Carson Daly, I truly think she has the best seat in the house.
22. Too bad she didn’t win.
23. I remember Julie Bowen from Ed. Anyone remember Ed?
24. WTF JAMES VANDERBEEK IS SITTING BY HER HUSBAND. Remember when Julie Bowen played his aunt in Dawson’s Creek? Haaaa.
25. I will always love Chandler Bing.
26. He likes attention. Thanks.
27. Best guest actress in a comedy series? Kathy Bates
28. Best guest actor in a comedy series? Jimmy Fallon
29. Both deserved, now they present.
30. I adore Jimmy Fallon #iwishhehadhosted
31. Best comedy direction? Some guy from Modern Family.
32. Oh he produced, Frasier? Okay I love him.
33. I will say that this Modern Family kid is pretty adorable.
34. Okay good, lead actor in a comedy series.
35. Sookie made Dexter laugh, omg.
36. Larry David didn’t show, bummer.
37. And the Emmy goes to…John Cryer! He didn’t think he stood a chance! I don’t like his show, but I will always like Ducky.
38. Still really bummed about Sheldon, you guys.
39. Stephen Colbert, swoon.
40. Lead actress in a comedy?
41. ELAINE YESSSSS. Though I probably would have cried a little if Amy Poehler got it, won’t lie.
42. The switched speech thing though was a little brilliant I won’t lie. Amy Poehler, you are a winner in my heart.
43. Oh super, reality tv. Which I really don’t follow with the exception of So You Think You Can Dance and things about addictions involving Dr. Drew. OH MY GOD Shark Tank yes. Hey look, Pawn Stars.
44. Oh hey look that I’m crying now watching they re-crown all the competition winners. Phillip Phillips ILY.
45. Hey there’s VANDERBEEK.
46. And the winner for outstanding reality something blah is The Amazing Race.
47. The Big Bang Theory Emmy episode clip.
48. I wish Sheldon was my bff.
49. I would take Seth McFarlane, too.
50. Reality show host. It will be Ryan Seacrest.
51. I think it cut away? Did he say something offensive? TELL ME WHAT I MISSED DAMNIT.
52. Tom Ber…something from Dancing With The Stars takes it home.
53. I didn’t vote for Betty White, I’m sorry.
54. Year in drama. I see a lot of familiar faces. I realize how much drama I watch.
55. I don’t like to see Big in any other television show, it really bothers me.
56. Still don’t watch Madmen.
57. Can you believe Juliet is in some show about being a spy?
58. YOU DO NOT FIRE MEREDITH GREY EVER.
59. YES BREAKING BAD.
60. YES LAW AND ORDER SVU, SMASH, DEXTER AND REVENGE.
61. I almost didn’t catch up on this and kept forgetting what I was typing.
62. Juliet is prego? Well we know it is not Romeo’s…too soon?
63. Supporting actor in drama…it’s between Gus and Jesse Pinkman OMG.
64. HELL YEAH AARON PAUL YOU ARE MY BOY BLUE.
65. Seeing Gus smile was a little awkward. Oh man. OH MAN.
66. I want to cry. And he thanks Gus, I can’t handle this.
67. He yells and thanks them for not killing him off.
68. He is from Idado? We’re neighbors.
69. I wasted a lot of lines on just him.
70. YEAH MR. WHITE. YEAH SCIENCE!!!!!!!!!!
71. #overit
72. I may be one of the only people who doesn’t like Tracy Morgan.
73. Juliet looked like she was not amused by anything that is happening right now.
74. I stepped away but I think the writers of Homeland won something?
75. Oy.
76. Okay, come on Skyler White.
77. I should have known she couldn’t win against Professor McGonnagall. BAH.
78. I’d let John Hamm win the Emmy for Best Actor if it meant that Breaking Bad got best drama, even though Bryan Cranston is the best actor on anything relevant today, except for Aaron Paul and maybe the guy on Newsroom, Jeff Daniels (taking bets now to see how much that show gets nominated for next year).
79. Oh Gus is presenting, and he brought a bucket of chicken.
80. #kidding
81. And he’s presenting or I guess re-announcing Guest Actor/Actress in a drama series. Ooh.
82. I wasn’t paying attention at all to this category but it seems that the director from Boardwalk Empire won for directing? I guess.
83. OMG TRIBUTE TO JIMMY KIMMEL.
84. Won’t lie, I assumed it was Betty White.
85. Yet another reason I love Josh Groban singing a One Direction song.
86. I know it is One Direction because I asked Zack.
87. “Sorry Matt Damon”. Best line ever.
88. Best drama actor, okay here we are.
89. Dexter vs. Walter White, I don’t even know.
90. John Hamm is going to be the Susan Lucci.
91. I don’t know the winner, what show was he on? I didn’t care cause it wasn’t Walter White or Dexter.
92. Oh, he’s on Homeland.
93. Walter White is going to kill him after the broadcrast.
94. I think Dexter might help him based on the looks they’re giving right now, Jebus, I wouldn’t want to be him.
95. I forget that Juliet was on My So-Called Life before she was Juliet.
96. Tina Fey and Susan Lucci.
97. Okay, I’m going to give Juliet’s show a shot.
98. Kathy Bates will always be Molly Brown.
99. OMG GRAMS FROM Dawson’s Creek is apparently on The Good Wife. Yeahhhh.
100. Elizabeth Moss. “Hey, Torch, you miss me?
101. Good job Juliet.
102. For a second she sounded British, I had a moment like wtf did I not know this?
103. Year in variety…oh that’s fun.
104. Are they going to talk about Angelina Jolie’s leg?
105. Variety is a lot more things than I give it credit for I think.
106. Beyonce baby belly closes the montage of course.
107. Variety writing, presented by that one guy from Parks & Rec and someone that honestly looks like Erika Christiansen and Hilary Duff had a baby.
108. Why is Betty White like the collective Golden Girl, just because she is still alive? Seriously, that show was Bea Arthur’s bitch.
109. I want Louis CK to win, again.
110. The Tony’s will take it, huh? Just cause of Neil Patrick Harris.
111. And hell yes, Louis CK won. He’s doing well tonight and he couldn’t even care less.
112. Look at Ricky Gervais. I like him.
113. Directing of a variety special is wait I just saw Scott Baio I think?
114. Louis CK again, yay.
115. Okay so the Nutcracker? GAH, okay I’d take that, too.
116. And Louis did not win, and he couldn’t even care less.
117. He had to play his own “get off the stage music”. Oh, I should have said, I mean the guy who won, cause he was backstage running things.
118. Oh look now best variety special: THE DAILY SHOW.
119. Wait, I don’t know I just got excited about it.
120. Jimmy Kimmel is pretty hilarious.
121. But Jimmy Fallon is better.
122. It’s like politics and then late night show.
123. Okay, winner was THE DAILY SHOW see that wasn’t premature for no reason. Look at him hug everyone in the aisles. Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, they’re holding him back this is amazing.
124. He totally deserves it, you guys.
125. I’m still not watching Madmen you guys.
126. I forget that Shaal lady from Bob’s Burgers is on The Daily Show, too.
127. Hey Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman are there. Yay.
128. Miniseries or movies. Oh that’s why Kidman is there.
129. I’ve really only heard of Game Change, go Danny Strong.
130. I didn’t realize that American Horror Story was a miniseries, everyone go watch it, it’ll scare the crap out of you.
131. I also really love Kevin Costner. BRB watching The Bodyguard and Field Of Dreams.
132. Steve Buscemi. “Boy, I’m glad I called that guy.”
133. Okay, actress. I’m loving Francis Conroy, Ruth Fisher FTW.
134. Or Jessica Lange, that’s okay. Grey Gardens is always good.
135. Seriously need to re-watch American Horror Story.
136. Ellen still doesn’t have pants.
137. Kerry Washington will always be Sean Patrick Thomas’s really bratty sister from Save The Last Dance. Seriously just cause Julia Styles refuses to wear a bra in everything she’s ever in.
138. Hey there was a best actor in the miniseries/movie thing and yet again, I did not really pay attention. But I guess the winner once won an Emmy for a guest appearance on Cheers so that’s pretty cool.
139. And now the tribute to the dead people. That sounds evil but it’s not.
140. Aw Ron Howard, thanks again for Arrested Development.
141. I think Tom Hanks is only there to celebrate Any Griffith.
142. Davy Jones, damn. My mom loved him.
143. I hate reliving this.
144. Sherman Hemsley, moved on up.
145. Phyllis Diller. Dat laugh.
146. Michael Clarke Duncan, too soon.
147. Heavy-D.
148. Andy Rooney.
149. Steve Jobs. That was a sad one to see. Love the 5.
150. Patrice O’Neal. “Oh, most definitely.”
151. Whitney Houston!
152. Donna Summer.
153. Mike Wallace.
154. Dick Clark. SOB.
155. There were obviously more, but alas, this is my tribute to those that lit up MY life.
156. Getting tissues. It was smart of them to air a commercial now.
157. Hey, Keif.
158. Writing for miniseries or movie: damnit if Danny Strong doesn’t win I’ll cry.
159. Good things I got tissues, man. CAUSE HE WON. I AM CRYING RIGHT NOW. Seriously, from Buffy and Gilmore Girls to here. I LOVE YOU DANNY.
160. Oh and then Julianna Marghoweveryouspellit wins for her portrayal of Palin and I wonder how Tina Fey feels about that?
161. Aw she thanked Danny, too. That’s tender. Feels all around.
162. Sup annoying chick from Big Love and the beautiful and scary Emily Thorne.
163. Best miniseries and movie…or directing I guess. The director of Game Change.
164. Oh, Tom Hanks was here for this. And he hollers out to Danny Strong as well, we are all feeling the love.
165. I would have taken Woody Harrelson but Kevin Costner was the best pick for this.
166. Oh so Madmen is in a three-way tie for most best drama wins eh? Let’s screw with them, okay Breaking Bad. Come on.
167. Okay finally, best miniseries or movie. For me, American Horror Story or Game Change
168. Game Change, I shouldn’t have been surprised after all this for real. Still proud of little Danny, and he gets to stand up there with Tom Hanks like a badass.
169. I think Tom Hanks owns HBO or something, I’ll have to find out.
170. I hate Tom Hanks’ mustache.
171. I made the joke first, Jimmy.
172. Finally someone gives a shout out to Tina Fey’s Palin, which was brilliant.
173. Okay here we go. Outstanding Drama Series. Shish.
174. Holding Breath.
175. Homeland…wtf. Okay you know what? That’s okay, as long as it isn’t Madmen.
176. Feeling sad about Breaking Bad though. Eep.
177. Aaron Paul still wins in my heart.
178. Sidenote on the CoverGirl commercial with Modern Family chick, I, along with everyone else apparently, cannot tell what she is saying.
179. Why do they say no one likes Michael J Fox?
180. Well Modern Family takes comedy again.
181. Still bummed How I Met Your Mother wasn’t nomincated.
182. Still bummed Big Bang Theory did not win.
183. And boom it ends very abruptly. I feel like a time limit was reached somehow.

Well that was fun.

Stoked about much Louis CK, Aaron Paul.
Bummed about the remaining peeps of Breaking Bad not getting what they completely deserved.
Gonna download Homeland.

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