Mike & Molly – Karaoke Christmas

mike&molly5S03xE10 – The Captain wants Mike to spend Christmas Eve with his mother, but Molly doesn’t know that yet. But when they actually go over there, they end up having a pretty ok time. At least Mike’s mom was happy, which doesn’t happen often. The Captain even let Mike call him by his first name. Progress! Vince decided to get a toupee for Christmas. I think it’s a gift that gave to not only himself, but Joyce as well. She could not stop petting Vince’s new rug. Victoria’s present is a karaoke machine that was to be a joint gift from both Molly and Harry, but Molly maxed out all of her cards, and couldn’t pay Harry her portion. So Harry got to give the gift to Victoria on his own, and they kinda sorta bonded over it. Precious.

Best of the episode: Mike and Molly having to spend Christmas eve with Mike’s mom and the Captain, which involved going to mass.

Worst of the episode: Vince’s toupee.

Where did this episode leave us?: Vince has a toupee that makes him apparently look like Al Pacino. I don’t dig it, but Joyce really does.

What this episode ruined for us: Credit Cards and Toupees


– a la Chryshele


Mike & Molly – Mike Takes a Test

mike&molly4S03xE09 – With Mike’s mom dating Mike’s Captain, it’s making for a lot of pressure on Mike. And it doesn’t let up when they go to dinner and his Captain mentions how he would like Mike to take the detective’s test. Mike agrees to do so because it would be an additional $20,000/year. So Mike hunkers down and gets his study on, but by doing this he’s secluding himself from Molly and life. So Molly goes to talk to him about it, and let him know that if it’s going to be too much pressure on him to take the test, he doesn’t have to. And then they realize that Mike can compare his current work to detective work and just use smarter words on how to address the problem. Mike feels better and more confident he can pass the test. And he does! He places 112th in line for detective. Which could be a while, but at least he’s on the list.

Best of the episode: Mike passing the test for detective.

Worst of the episode: Carl thinking he could be a better detective than Mike.

Where did this episode leave us?: In twenty years, Mike could be a detective.

Best one-liner: Molly to Mike’s mom – “Your boyfriend has a gun, my husband has a gun; how do you want to play this?”


– a la Chryshele

Mike & Molly – Mike Likes Briefs

S03xE08 – Mike starts to get nervous that Molly still isn’t pregnant. Honestly they haven’t been trying for long. So Mike starts taking action to better the chances on the baby making. He buys a wedge and even goes to the Big & Tall to purchase a pair of boxer briefs. The ultimate item of purchase though is a rhino’s dried penis necklace. Yeah. Ew. Molly on the other hand is growing tired of the continual baby making sex, and is feeling more and more used than wanted. So when she finally sits Mike down to discuss how she feels, she lets it be known that whether there ends up being a child or not in the picture, she will still love and be with Mike.

Best of the episode: Not very much Carl. He’s been wearing thin with me.

Worst of the episode: The rhino penis necklace. That was creepy.

Where did this episode leave us?: The kids are still going to keep trying for that baby, but Mike needs to be more patient about it.

Best one-liner: Carl – “When someone says ‘get the hell away from me’ in a whisper, it doesn’t feel as bad.”

What the episode ruined for us: Rhinos


– a la Chryshele

Mike & Molly – Thanksgiving is Cancelled

S03xE07 – Mike is sick for Thanksgiving, so that gets Molly off the hook for cooking. That is until Vince’s brother comes to town. Vince expects a big dinner for his brother so that Vince can show off his lovely family. Too bad he hasn’t married Joyce yet, she’s kind of upset about that, and it’s going to ruin the night. Joyce starts flirting with Vince’s brother which isn’t hard to get him to reciprocate. He’s kind of a horn-dog. Vince is in the kitchen fixing dinner when he confesses to Molly the reason he hasn’t married Joyce yet is because he’s broke, and he wants to be more financially stable before he ties the knot. Molly tells Vince he needs to let Joyce know that, so she won’t be so angry. Vince is not so sure though and hesitates to do so. It takes Molly to force him to be out with it, and when he tells Joyce, she’s more than understanding.

Carl and Samuel are having Thanksgiving at Carl’s grandmother’s church’s single’s potluck. Carl’s convinced that they can pick up some single ladies and have a decent meal at the same time. But their plans don’t exactly go as they had thought they would. There are no young ladies, only elderly people, and the food is sub par. But the night’s not an entire loss, when they are asked to dance with a couple of the elderly women. Our lips are sealed on this one.

We end the episode with the sweet courthouse wedding of Vince and Joyce. Mike is all better, so I’m guessing it’s a few days down the road, and Vince’s brother is still in town begging for a kiss from the bride in exchange for the wedding gift of cash he gave them. No such luck for the horn-dog.

Best of the episode: Vince admitting why he’s put the wedding off. It was nice to see a more endearing side of Vince for once.

Worst of the episode: Mike sick in bed. I’m not sure why the writers thought this would be funny. I think Mike down with the family interacting would have made more laughs.

Where did this episode leave us?: Joyce and Vince are finally married!

Best one-liner: Carl – “Whatever happens at the assisted living facility stays at the assisted living facility.”

What the episode ruined for us: Assisted Living Facilities


– a la Chryshele

Mike & Molly – Yard Sale

S03xE06 – Mike and the boys are going fishing to help Carl forget about his breakup, while Molly holds a yard sale. The idea is to get rid of all the crap in the basement, and convert that into an apartment for Mike and Molly until they can afford their own home. It’s not a bad idea provided she can unload the goods.

So as the guys ready to leave for their fishing trip, Molly has the yard set up for her sale. Harry shows up with his RV he inherited from his grandfather, and he’s pretty proud of it. Samuel and Harry start shopping the yard sale while they wait for Carl to show up. When Carl does show up it’s only by the force of his grandma. Carl is Pouty McPouterson right now and doesn’t want to go on the trip at all. But Carl doesn’t get a choice in this according to grandma.

So as the guys set off on their trip, Molly starts receiving her first yard sale customers, and she’s not got the best of customer service skills. But to her defense the buyers aren’t the brightest of the bunch to begin with. As she’s dealing with a customer trying to get a shoe in a different size and color, up walks Peggy. She’s a little peeved that Molly didn’t let her know about the sale personally, but that she had to find it out in the paper. Putting feelings aside though, Peggy turns out to be a heck of a haggler with the customers, and Molly decides that they make a great team. So Peggy sticks around to help sale the crap for a cut of the profit.

The guys are at their campsite enjoying their time away, but Carl is still sulking about his breakup and having to be on the trip. Harry is going on and on about how his grandfather and “best friend” would have great fun in the RV together, and loved listening to Judy Garland. When Vince tells Harry his grandpa was gay, Harry is adamant that isn’t true. Carl is inside the RV sulking some more, when Mike goes in to check on him. Carl apologizes for ruining the trip, and Mike tells him he needs to buck up, he’s not the only one who’s gone through a breakup. After more talking, they seem to patch things up by Mike touching Carl’s abs and Vince walking in on them. Good times.

Molly is down in the basement getting her tap dancing on. She seems pretty happy and from the looks of it she’s unloaded all of the crap. Mike comes down watching her tap dance, as well as film it, and they talk about how they will convert the basement into their apartment eventually, but until then Mike wants it to be his man cave. Too bad Molly sold all his big boy toys at the yard sale.

Best of the episode: Molly tap dancing, she’s pretty darn good!

Worst of the episode: Carl acting like a child over his breakup. He’s driving me crazy this season.

Where did this episode leave us?: Mike and Molly should be getting their own space soon. I actually like the idea of them living with her parents because they’re not able to afford their own home yet. This is more realistic than most tv shows, and it’s refreshing.

Best one-liner: Sorry I suck, i don’t have one this week. 

What the episode ruined for us: Carl


– a la Chryshele

Mike & Molly – Mike’s Boss

S03xE05 – Mike’s mom is extra needy lately and coming up with excuses like racoons in the attic to get Mike to go and see her. So when Mike’s captain stops by to ask him if he can ask out his mother, he’s at first very confused and needs to verify her identity with him to make sure they’re talking about the same person, but then he’s willing to let him do it after she interrupts his day with another pointless racoon claim.

So as he’s meeting with his captain and gives him his mother’s number, the captain makes it known to Mike the perks of being friends with the captain. First perk is courtside seats to the Bulls game. Mike takes Molly to the game, and she’s loving it. She’s determined to try and trip the opposing players as they run by. It’s a great time had by all.

The next day Carl and Mike get to experience perk number two; a new police vehicle. And Mike gets to drive it, which he’s pretty excited about. The car even has the fancy remember your seat settings option, and a police radio system that’s too high tech for Mike or Carl to use. Not to mention they have no idea how to turn the siren lights on. So it’s probably a good thing that when they get summoned back to the station, that the captain takes the vehicle away from Mike. His reason being he’s a horrible son to his mother. So now Mike is required to spend every Sunday with her for dinner. Mike is at a loss for words. Especially when in walks his mother all dressed up and sweet as can be. She’s got the captain wrapped around her little finger. This is most evident when Mike and Molly are there for dinner and Peggy is on the phone with the captain confirming that Mike is there for dinner and inviting him over for some “pie”. She hangs up and with a gleam in her eye gives Molly an evil “I’ve got him right where I want him” smile. Mike is screwed.

Best of the episode: Molly at the Bulls game. When she catches the ball, it’s funny how she thinks she could have made the shot. And she nearly tripped one of the players which was funny too.

Worst of the episode: Peggy’s conniving plan to get her son back into her grasp. The poor captain I feel is just being used, and he actually likes Peggy.

Where did this episode leave us?: Peggy’s dating Mike’s captain which means bad things for Mike, especially when his mom ruins things, which we know she will at some point.

Best one-liner: Peggy to Mike about Molly – “Boy, when she says jump, you say I wish I could.”

What the episode ruined for us: Pie


– a la Chryshele

Mike & Molly – Molly in the Middle

S03xE04 – Mike and Molly are having a baby! Ok well they’re trying to have a baby. Molly seems to be a little baby hungry, and Mike is eager for baby making sex, so it’s a win-win. Mike is so happy about baby making sex he just has to share it with Carl, but Carl isn’t as happy to hear about it. Mainly because he has just broken up with Christina. That’s understandable. So when Mike comes home for the night and sees Christina over for girl’s night Mike gets a little upset. Mike pulls Molly aside and tells her she can’t be friends with Christina because it will ruin his friendship with Carl. Molly can’t understand why this would ruin things for MIke, and tells him she’s staying friends with Christina. She can be friends with both of them, she shouldn’t have to choose sides.

So the next morning Carl stops by to pick up Mike and Molly asks Carl if he would care that she stay friends with Christina. Carl plays it cool and tells her he has no problem with that, but you know it’s not true. And that’s confirmed when Mike and Carl leave the house and Carl has the stink eye. It’s also evident when Mike comes home from work and he’s been graffitied by some teenagers no thanks to Carl. How does that even happen? Molly gets a mouthful from Mike about it, but she’s still not budging, she doesn’t want to choose sides.

It’s not until she goes and talks to Carl and smoothes things over that she begins to understand the situation. But it really hits her when she’s ready to have a night out with Christina and all Christina does is bad mouth Carl. That earns her a kick to the curb. Go Molly! Molly then tells Mike what happened, and says she now sees why she had to choose. Which sucks, because you always end up having to do just that.

Best of the episode: Mike getting graffitied and not even noticing. Well according to Carl, Mike didn’t notice until it was too late. Mike’s version is Carl didn’t help stop it. Either way it’s pretty funny that it even happened.

Worst of the episode: Not enough Victoria. I think they’ve cut back on her character a bit too much this season.

Where did this episode leave us?: With the prospect that Mike and Molly will be adding a little one. I’m not sure how long this will take, or they may go the infertility route to delay things and keep the funny, but it looks like it may happen.

Best one-liner: Joyce – “Have you ever met a toddler? Dumb as rocks.”

What the episode ruined for us: Kids


– a la Chryshele