Mike & Molly – Mike Likes Cake

S03xE03 – Molly is upset because none of her wedding pictures turned out. Mainly because Mike can’t keep his eyes open and his mouth closed. Hmm. When Molly informs Mike that he sucks at getting his picture taken, he doesn’t seem too concerned. Probably because he’s too busy eating the piece of wedding cake Molly had saved in the freezer for their one year anniversary. Molly is surprisingly calm about it, I wouldn’t be.

Mike and Carl are talking about Carl thinking of marrying Christina, and they decide to take her lunch. There they meet James Turner, the sports star, and also Christina’s ex-husband. Mike is overly excited and asks for a picture with James, who is all the willing to oblige. Christina informs Carl that she will be going to lunch with James, which obviously makes Carl jealous.

Meanwhile Molly is at work and has Harry editing her wedding video which she plans to show that night to her family and friends, but Harry has made some creepy personal touches to the video and Molly is not enthused. She makes him re-edit the movie to her liking. That night everyone has gathered at the house to watch the video, and Carl is hurt because Christina couldn’t make it. He’s worried that she’s going to leave him. The rest of the group have decided to make a game out of the video. Everyone takes a shot of tequila when they see Mike eating cake. They then broaden it to when they see Mike eating something. Yeah everyone’s going to have to spend the night.

Carl is back at home and has left Christina 15 messages on her phone. He then decides to go over to her place to talk to her, and when she answers the door, she admits she got his messages, but hasn’t listened to all of them yet. That would take a while… Then James sticks his head out the door to make sure she’s ok, and poor Carl is heartbroken. Christina has got back with her ex. Mike and Molly are in bed recounting the day and Mike shows her the picture of him with James. It’s a perfect picture! Molly notes that too, and asks why he can’t take pictures like that with her, and he says because James was an important moment. Oh Mike.

Best of the episode: Seeing how much Mike and Molly really do love each other, mainly Molly. That she can handle Mike’s “perfection” as well as she does when he makes his dumb remarks, and ruins her one year anniversary traditions.

Worst of the episode: All of the fat jokes that seem to be increasing toward Mike. We get it he’s overweight, they both are. But I would assume he still has feelings. And you can get a laugh other ways. The past two episodes proved that.

Where did this episode leave us?: Carl is single again, which is probably for the best. He’s a tad obsessive.

Best one-liner: Molly to Harry when he questions sitting in her classroom when her students come back in – “Tell them you’re a big dumb kid that was held back 20 years. They’ll believe it.”

What the episode ruined for us: Eating at weddings, for fear of your picture being taken.

Rating:

– a la Chryshele

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Mike & Molly – Vince Takes A Bath

S03xE02 – Mike and Molly are writing their thank you cards for their wedding gifts. Mike’s handwriting totally sucks and so does his spelling and Molly is worried that they’re running out of cute kitten cards that say “Thank Mew”. Aw. While talking about the gifts they wish they’d got over what they received, they hear Molly’s mom having sex with Vince. Everybody cringes, even me. Vince is kind of disgusting. Mike mentions how he’s used to it and that it’s like listening to the ocean. And I’m officially grossed out. They then hear a huge scream from Vince, and Molly’s mother comes running into their room saying Vince is hurt. They go into Joyce’s room and there’s a naked Vince with a blanket on him, thank God, lying on the floor. He’s hurt his back and can’t move. After asking them to move him, and not roll him over because he has an hour left on the viagra, we cut to the next morning. Joyce comes down saying she gave Vince a percocet and he should be set for the day, but then you hear him calling her, and we see that Mike has brought him down to the couch. He then starts asking for someone to make him food. It seems everyone has bolted, so that leaves Molly to feed him. Vince calls himself baby bear and Molly is going to kill him.

Mike is at the cafe with Carl and Samuel showing them his pictures from his honeymoon, and they are all of Mike eating in front of a place, like the Eiffel Tower and Louvre. Hey with all of their delicious pastries there, I would probably be eating in all of my pictures too. Mike hands them their thank you cards and Carl gives it back saying Mike has to mail it to him. Carl didn’t put in all that work to get him a gift just to have his thank you card handed to him. Good for you Carl.

Molly comes home from work and Vince hears her, but where is he? Unfortunately in the bathroom. Molly tries to avoid going in by attempting to sneak back out, but Vince is relentless and Molly goes in. Vince is in the tub and there is no coverage. Poor Molly, no one should see that. Molly throws a towel to cover himself up, and he asks her to help him out because the water’s cold. So as she tries to help him out, she slips on his conditioned arms and hands and falls right in touching his thingy. Oh so very gross! Next we see that Molly has managed to get him out of the tub, and he is now on the floor wrapped up. Molly starts to drag him by his feet from the bathroom and back into the living room. She leaves him on the floor calling it good, but he begs her to get him back on the couch. And I guess she does though we don’t see it happen.

Molly is now in the kitchen making Vince his soup when Victoria comes home asking what’s going on, when Molly tells her, Victoria takes off like the Flash. Next Mike comes home and Molly immediately puts him to work making him feed Vince soup, but when Mike complains, Molly goes into what she’s had to do and lifts the blanket off Vince and yells at Mike to look at Vince’s penis, so he can experience what she did. Look at it! Mike shuts up and starts feeding Vince his soup.

Joyce finally comes home from wherever she’s been, and when she sees Molly and Vince she high tails it back out the door. Molly follows after Joyce and finds out that her mom is stressing that Vince was supposed to be her young stud, but now he’s broken so she’s uncomfortable being around him. Molly convinces her that it’s for better or for worse and Joyce agrees. Mom’s home!

Mike is back at the cafe with Carl and Samuel and they’ve both received their thank you cards in the mail, but they were for the wrong gifts. Earlier Mike had realized he screwed up on his list and he was off by one gift. Both guys are bitter about it. Mike messed up for sure.

Best of the episode: Hands down Molly taking care of Vince. The bathtub scene was priceless, and Molly making Mike look at Vince’s “pinky” as she calls it, all while Vince is reminding Molly he’s still a human being was hilarious.

Worst of the episode: Naked Vince oiled up on the floor. He looked like something out of a sleaze magazine that only an 80-year-old ex stripper would look at. Too harsh?

Where did this episode leave us?: Questioning if Joyce and Vince are actually going to get married. It seems that Joyce has a lot of reservations, and I don’t blame her. She could do a lot better than Vince.

Best one-liner: Molly explaining her day with Vince to Mike – “I can still hear his squeaky butt cheeks dragging across the bathroom tile.” 

What the episode ruined for us:  Conditioner

Rating:

– a la Chryshele

Mike & Molly – The Honeymoon is Over

S03xE01 – Mike and Molly are enjoying the tail end of their honeymoon in Paris and are preparing for the long trip home. Luckily Molly spent all her frequent flyer miles so they could travel in first class style. Meanwhile Carl is very butt-hurt about not hearing from Mike the entire two weeks he’s been gone, and lets it be known to everyone he speaks with, even his temporary partner. Carl even goes as far as to say he doesn’t miss Mike and that his temporary partner is exemplary in everything, far surpassing Mike. Molly’s family doesn’t seem to be missing Mike and Molly either. They take great enjoyment in getting drunk, talking smack about the couple and then proceeding to open all of their wedding gifts. On the plane ride home Mike starts to reminisce about the trip and the bidets. So he makes a bucket list of places he would like to visit, and they all include eating food. During a trip to the lavatory, Mike experiences some turbulence action from the plane and decides Chicago is good for him. Carl has to say goodbye to his temporary partner and does so by giving him a gift. Carl gets a gift in return; a big fat kiss from his gay temporary partner. Carl doesn’t miss Mike anymore.

Best of the episode: The discussion of the bidet between Mike and Molly on the plane, the fact that the airline provides pajamas for the first class passengers and that they actually fit Mike, and Vince, Joyce and Victoria getting drunk off Tang and tequila. Who doesn’t love Tang?

Worst of the episode: Carl pretending that he didn’t miss Mike. Honestly I’m grasping here, the episode was pretty darn good.

Where did this episode leave us?: Wanting to know how married life is going to be between Mike and Molly since they are living in Molly’s mother’s house. I’m guessing pretty much the same as it has been.

Best one-liner: Molly to Mike about his bucket list -“You should climb Mt. Everest. I hear they have snow cones up there.” (all of his items involved eating something easily available in a not so easy destination).

What the episode ruined for us: Bidets and toilets

Rating:

– a la Chryshele