S08xE09 – Robin is Flirty McFlirtyson with Barney. It’s kinda lame, but she thinks it’s working. Barney on the other hand doesn’t seem to notice. He really has closed the door. Lily pulls Robin aside and tells her she’s acting the way she does when she knows she can’t have something. She just wants it more, and she recalls the Lobster Situation. Robin was told that she’s allergic to lobster and can never eat it again, so Robin went and pigged out on lobster and almost died. She has a problem, she doesn’t like being told no apparently. So now that Barney has told her it will never happen between them, Robin wants him more than ever.
Meanwhile Ted is taking on the duties of nanny while Lily’s father is away. And while Ted was watching little Marvin, he crawled for the first time. Lily is super upset and Marshall is surprisingly handling it well. Ted tries to reassure them by saying he filmed the whole thing, but whoops! he had the camera flipped on him because he uses it to check his teeth. Now Lily is more upset. Then Ted takes Marvin shopping and buys all of his winter clothes for him. More crying from Lily. Ted is enjoying the firsts with Marvin, and when Lily and Marshall see Ted’s book of firsts (which includes a first visit to Santa), they realize it’s because he’s completed his “baby” the GNB tower, and is replacing it with Marvin. Lily and Marshall tell him they’re not holding any grudges toward him, but when we flash forward a few years and Ted has his own baby whom he is handing off to Lily and Marshall to watch for the night, we see them exact their revenge on Ted by taking his daughter to see Santa for the first time. Take that Ted!
Robin has decided that she needs to sleep with Barney in order for her to stop wanting him, much like she did with the lobster. So she heads over to Barney’s in a super sexy outfit, but there’s Patrice sitting on Barney’s couch. They’re on a date!! Barney explained that when he was down and sad Patrice was there to make him feel better, and they spent the night talking and were now on a date playing cards. Robin is sad, and so am I. Why is this so difficult!
Oh and Barney invented the Bro Bib after the death of his favorite tie Cornelius. They’re actually genius and Lily thinks so too. They look like shirts, what’s not to like?
Best of the episode: Ted’s firsts book of the GNB tower.
Worst of the episode: Barney on a date with Robin’s arch-nemesis Patrice. What?
Where this episode leaves us: Three years from now Ted will have a baby, so where is this mother???
Best one-liner: Marshall to Ted at the pool – “You’re half-naked; you’re not a parent to any of these children. Don’t offer them candy.”
What this episode ruined for us: Barney and Robin