Suburgatory – The Witch of East Chatswin

S02xE02 – It’s Halloween in Chatswin and Dalia and her friends are trying to come up with an original slutty costume. Tessa tries to intervene, but it doesn’t work. What does work is her ability to catch the attention of the town witch. Or so Tessa finds out from Sheila while over at Lisa’s house. Apparently Sheila went to middle school with her and tells of her odd encounters with the witch who shall not be named, or Paula.

Dallas has called George over to her store to fix a thing, and when he shows up, she asks him to be Ken to her Barbie for the club’s annual halloween party. George declines and like that Dallas’ thing doesn’t need fixing anymore. You can tell she’s hurt, but acts fine about it.

Noah shows up at George’s house dressed as George. This is his costume. George is a little offended because he doesn’t think Noah makes a very good George. That is until Sheila sees Noah as George and thinks he’s actually George. This gives real George an idea, he’s going to be Noah. So to do so he buys himself a blonde wig, and shaves off his goatee. It’s a little traumatic for him, but he’s committed now.

Lisa and gang are at the school party and they are all dressed up as characters from Scooby Doo. There’s been a slight mix up and both Malik and Ryan have shown up as Fred so now there’s no Shaggy. Lisa dressed as Velma is worried because their Daphne has gone missing, or better known as Tessa. She’s gone over to the town witches home to see if she lives up to the stories, and there she finds her hovered over a cauldron in the front yard. Yep looks like the stories are true. Tessa is a little disturbed by it and runs off.

George is at the club party and because he looks like a rich club member he’s getting his drinks from the bartender with ease, Noah on the other hand isn’t because he looks like George. Such prejudice! Dallas and Dalia walk into the party dressed as Barbie and Skipper and look pretty good. Dalia walks up to the bar and asks for a vodka cranberry because she has a bladder infection so it’s ok. There she finds George and tells him that he almost makes a perfect Ken. She then proceeds to tell George that Dallas wasn’t just asking George to be Ken, but she was asking him to be her Ken. George finally gets it and when Dallas walks up to the bar, he asks her out on a date to which she says yes. Aw.

Tessa is at the school heading to the party when Paula the witch shows up. It turns out she’s not a witch at all, she’s just not a stepford wife either and because she never conformed to Chatswin society, she’s been an outcast. Sheila shows up with a crowd of lynchers ready to lynch Paula, but with Tessa’s smarts she distracts everyone by shutting off the lights and letting Paula get away. Tessa’s made a new friend in town, one that she can relate to and it’s a good thing.

Tessa and George are eating breakfast the next morning when Noah stops by and brings a bunch of flannel shirts for George. He admits to George that he was wrong in trying to imitate him, and that it was so easy to imitate his wife Jill last year, he thought he’d try it again with George. Noah then does his impression of Jill and they all laugh. It’s actually a little creepy, but apparently it’s dead on.

Best of the episode: George and Noah’s costumes. Especially George’s because he really did look like Ken more than Noah.

Worst of the episode: The lynching of Paul the witch. Why can’t they just let her be different? Good thing Tessa came to the rescue.

Where did this episode leave us?: George and Dallas will now be going on a date. So this will be interesting due to the fact that Tessa and Dalia are enemies and there’s a possibility of them having to spend more time together.

Best one-liner: Tessa – “It’s stripper shoe season in Chatswin, or as it’s known to the layman, Halloween.”

What the episode ruined for us: Aqua and their horrible Barbie Girl song. But then again that song always sucked, so….


– a la Chryshele


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