S04xE05 – Halloween is Claire’s favorite holiday, but the Dunphy’s have been banned by the city from putting up scary decorations in their yard. There seems to have been an incident where she gave a guy a heart attack. Phil brushes it off saying it was just a little pee, and tells Claire it wasn’t even scary. This seems to irritate Claire, because she thinks she can be very scary. Phil is off to an open house and steals all the candy, then tells Claire that she’s twice as scary when she’s wearing no makeup. That’s not helping.
Cam is excited because he’s lost a lot of weight and wants to show off his new bod at their halloween party they’re hosting, but there was a costume mix up and they sent the costumes in the opposite size they should be. So now Cam has to be the bull and Mitchell the matador. Lily is going as a princess again this year due to a slip up on Mitchell’s part. Apparently one night while reading a night time story to Lily, she asked Mitchell who her mom was. Mitchell being so tired sleepily told her that her mother was far away because she’s a princess. So now Lily has to be a princess every year for halloween. Cam has no idea.
Gloria has been increasingly more hot headed than usual, so when a couple of teenagers show up not in costumes asking for candy, she emphatically tells them no and to be ashamed of themselves and shuts the door on them. Next thing you hear are eggs hitting the door. Pregnant Gloria starts chasing after them. Those kids are screwed.
Phil is at his open house and it’s not going well. No one is showing up, so Phil’s thinking of wrapping things up, when Claire calls to check in. She is having a bad night herself. No one is showing up at their house either, because of last year’s incident. Rather they’re not just not showing up, they’re running away. So as Phil’s telling Claire that he’s ready to finish up, she again asks him about her being scary and he tells her once again that she’s not. She gets an idea.
At Cam and Mitchell’s party, Cam is flashing everyone because no one can tell that he’s lost weight in the bull costume, so Mitchell tells him to go change into his Fantasy Island costume instead, because it will show of his bod perfectly. So Cam has changed and is awaiting the compliments, but a friend has shown up who’s lost 100 pounds and everyone is raving about it. Cam just can’t catch a break. Lily meanwhile is talking to another princess and Cam overhears Lily talking about her princess mother. This sparks an argument between Cam and Mitchell, and a discussion with Lily explaining the truth. They don’t know who her mother is.
Jay and Gloria have shown up to Cam and Mitchell’s party dressed as Evel Kenievel and a green alien. Gloria is overly sensitive when someone laughs at her outfit calling her an illegal alien. Jay then makes her see that the pregnancy is making her overly sensitive and hot headed. She agrees and tries to recover. Jay is concerned about whether he’s still got it or not after a botched attempt to sweet talk his way out of a ticket. So when he starts talking to a transgendered princess thinking she’s a woman, he’s all to happy to see he does still have it after being flirted with. Gloria is kind enough to let it happen, Jay needs this. The teenagers that Gloria chased off earlier have shown up to the party. So Jay lets Gloria chase after them again. Gloria needs this. They’re even. Cam is receiving a compliment about his weight from Jay when Mitchell walks up with Lily dressed as Cam’s Fantasy Island sidekick. It’s cute, and apparently they just have costumes galore.
Claire has gone over to the house Phil is showing and has dressed as a scary ghostly Bo-Peep to scare the crap out of Phil. But she keeps missing her opportunity as Phil is on the phone while shutting off all the lights and locking up. Phil is about finished when he spies Claire’s Bo-Peep cane sitting by the front door. He thinks he’s got her, so he starts to search for her, but can’t find her. Then the doorbell rings and it’s a couple wanting to see the house. Phil is happy to do so, but nervous at the same time that Claire will ruin it. So he hurries them through the house, and when he bids them farewell, he returns to his hunt for Claire. He still can’t find her, and then the house phone rings and it’s Claire asking Phil to come home. She convinces him that she’s not there, and the kids help solidify her claim. So Phil heads up to grab the keys off the bed he left them on, and Alex, Claire and Luke pounce on him, scaring him bad. He claims they didn’t scare him that bad, but they beg to differ.
Best of the episode: Claire scaring Phil in the house. It was a pretty good prank and she was able to prove her scary abilities.
Worst of the episode: Gloria again driving me crazy. She’s just extra loud and obnoxious this season.
Where did this episode leave us?: Knowing that Cam has lost weight and wants compliments and acknowledgement. Also that Lily’s mother is not a princess. That rules out one of a million more possibilities, so that’s good.
Best one-liner: Claire – “How’s your open house?” Phil – “Pretty empty actually, I kind of just took it out on a Harry Potter. Seriously a Gryffindor letting his mom carry his quidditch broom? How Hufflepuff is that?”
What the episode ruined for us: Open Houses
– a la Chryshele