S04xE04 – Brick has maturation class at school and isn’t sure that he wants to go because it’s embarrassing. Frankie reassures Brick that everything will go fine, he already knows the basics anyway. Or does he? Mike and Frankie can’t really remember if they had “the talk” with Brick, or Sue and Axel for that matter. Eh that’s what school’s for so says Frankie. Sue has a class trip and has to sell cheese and sausage to help fund it. She makes the suggestion that she go with Mike to his work and sell it there. He’s reluctant, but agrees.
Sue is tallying up her sales in Mike’s office, when payroll gets passed out. Sue takes a peek at the amount when Mike’s not around, and she’s horrified. It’s obviously not a high amount.
Frankie has started walking and discovers that their horrible-scary-no-good-at-all neighbor Rita Glosner is back. She’s a nightmare and her kids aren’t any better.
Brick comes home after having made it through maturation class and discusses the key points. You know where it’s ok if the boys have urges, and the girls get to go home with a little pink bag of “goodies”. Rita shows up to the Heck home, and Frankie has the luck of opening the door, and there is nasty Rita looking for her hose. She’s accusing the Hecks of stealing the hose, and threatens Frankie in the process if it’s not returned.
Sue lets the parents know that she’s not going on the trip anymore stating they have stopped letting the mascots go, but really it’s because she knows they’re poor. Sue is having serious heartache about it, because she tries to tell her brothers, but they aren’t as receptive. Mainly because it’s not new news.
The Heck’s yard ends up getting destroyed by nasty Rita’s kids, so Axel and Brick set up a fort in the front yard to guard the area. They begin to start talking about girls, and the whole sex thing. Axel gives Brick the down low about everything. Well Axel knows what’s going on apparently.
Frankie tries to put a new hose in Rita’s yard without her noticing in hopes she gets Rita off her back, but doesn’t succeed so well. Frankie decides to change tactics and stand up to Rita, calling her a bad mother, accusing her kids of being thieves which doesn’t go well either, and they end up fighting over the new hose resulting in a chipped tooth for Frankie.
Sue’s friends show up to take Sue to the mall, and they come bearing gifts of hand-me-down clothes for Brick, a yoga workout vhs for Frankie and a hug for Mike. It’s looking like Sue told her friends she’s poor, she just forgot to tell them to keep their mouths shut because they blew her cover on the trip. So Sue has to confess that she saw Mike’s paycheck, and so she cancelled the trip herself to save money. Mike admits, they don’t have a lot of money, but she shouldn’t worry about it, so she going to go.
As Frankie is leaving for the dentist to fix that chipped tooth she done got, she sees the hose that Rita was claiming they stole. Brick is using it and when Frankie asks where he got it, he admits it’s from the Glosner’s. Whoops! Frankie’s a liar. So as they try to cover up the lie by wrapping the hose up, shoving it into the car, and taking it away, they nearly run over Rita. The jigs up. But it turns out it’s not. Rita has come by to apologize because her hose turned up, and to make up for the accusations, the Heck’s are invited for a pool party at Rita’s. Oh how fun! So Frankie and Brick bury the evidence never to speak of again. But Brick didn’t get the memo of no talking when it came to sex ed. He managed to share everything Axl told him with his class. Yes!
We end with the pool party at Rita’s. And by pool party we’re talking kiddie pool in the grassless yard drinking canned beer. At least Frankie decided on what she wants to go to school for. To become a dental assistant.
Best of the episode: Brick learning about sex from Axel. If Brick’s as smart as he’s portrayed, he’ll know better than to take it to heart.
Worst of the episode: That even though Axel and Brick built a fort prepared for war, they didn’t see any action.
Where did this episode leave us?: With Frankie having made a career decision. At least we hope. I think it could make for some entertaining situations.
Best one-liner: Brick to Frankie after maturation class – “Ok well I guess I’ll go look at your bras now. I’m not sure why but apparently it’s totally normal. You guys are always after me to be normal so…”
What the episode ruined for us: Brooke Shields
– a la Chryshele