S08xE04 – Lily and Marshall have a night off from Marvin, and so they use it to write their will. Lily has a hard time talking about dying, where Marshall is trying to have a game plan. As they’re telling the group about their night writing the will they discuss that it came down to deciding who would be Marvin’s guardian. After long arguments over Marshall’s mom and Lily’s mom, and a short argument over Lily’s dad being guardians, they were left without anyone chosen. This prompts the group to vye for the position as Marvin’s guardian. After trying to win Lily and Marshall over with extravagant teddy bear gifts from both Robin and Ted (Robin won that one btw), and Barney singing adult versions of Row Row Row Your Boat, Farmer in the Dell and The Wheels on the Bus (The boobs on the bus go up and down) whilst dressed accordingly to each song, Marshall and Lily decide to play a game to decide who will be best suited as guardian.
The game is called Who Wants to be a Godparent and Lily is the Vanna White for the game. She even looks the part because she’s pretty again. Lily spins the wheel, and Barney’s up with the first question:
How would you explain to little Marvin why his parents aren’t around anymore? Barney’s answer: The president of the world has called them away on a super secret space mission and Marvin will never see them again. Robin’s answer: Your mom and dad done plopped off a subway platform and are now organ donors (I paraphrased, it was a lot longer). Ted’s answer: Marvin explaining where your parents are isn’t going to be easy even I-Marshall and Lily’s best friend-will have a hard time, but Professor Infosaurus will help out. Ted wins this one.
2nd question: How would you handle Marvin taking another kid’s toy? Barney’s answer: Barney takes away Marvin’s $1,900 belt and makes him wear a cheap one until he apologizes. Ted’s answer: Take away tv privileges, but then let’s him watch tv and then says he has to do dishes, but then backs off that and they go get ice cream. Robin’s answer: Tough love. Send him off to an all boys boarding school like she was. Robin wins because they love her and she’s in a safe space.
3rd question: How would you teach young Marvin about the facts of life? Barney’s answer: Take him to Amsterdam. Ted: Infosaurus again, but this time rap style. Robin’s answer: Brown nosing Marshall by calling him a stud. Robin wins again.
Lightning round: First word? Ted’s answer: Beam, Robins: Nerd. First heartbreak? Barney’s answer: Throw a brick through the girl’s window. Barney’s assumption of Ted’s answer: Marvin using Infosaurus to console Ted.
This sparks a big argument between everyone, but then Marshall interrupts and tells them they (Ted, Barney and Robin) don’t know how to be parents. They respond by saying Lily and Marshall don’t know how to be friends anymore. That they have barely seen them in the past five months, and have no idea what’s going on in their lives. Then Lily and Marshall explain how a baby is more important than their friendships and they should just deal with it. Ouch.
After the gang leaves, Marshall and Lily start to justify what they told them, and as they do so they realize they really don’t know anything going on in their friend’s lives, and agree they’ve been bad friends. So they leave Marvin with Mickey and head down to McLaren’s to tell them they’ve revoked the “8 or higher rule” and they spend the night talking about what’s been going on in each of their lives. This night helps them decide that all three of them will be Marvin’s guardian. Is it bad to say I saw this coming? And I’m not really worried, because we’ve seen Lily and Marshall in the future and they’re old. So they’re fine listing whomever they please.
Best of the episode: The giant teddy bear that Robin gave as a bribe. I would love that thing!
Worst of the episode: The boob cam stroller. Barney needed a better baby than a bowling ball for it to really work. Sheesh.
Where did this episode leave us?: Hopefully moving on from Marshall and Lily being parents, and focusing on how Barney and Robin get together, and then who the mother is!
Best one-liner: Barney answering his booty call phone – “Barney Stinson, how may I direct my penis?”
*sidenote* Barney’s booty call phone ringtone is Ms. New Booty – Stingray Music according to Shazam (I’ve noticed people searching for this info. Hope it helps!)
What the episode ruined for us: Children’s Songs.
– a la Chryshele