S04xE03 – Phil’s getting a vasectomy, or as Luke calls it an assectomy. Same thing. Anyway Claire and Phil don’t want an accident like Jay and Gloria when they’re Jay’s age. They have five more years until Luke will be in college and then they can travel the world and do things you can’t do with children in the picture. So Phil’s getting snipped. He sees it as an opportunity to do riskier things in bed. Ok then.
Alex is dressing like a goth now. She has a new friend named Skyler and Claire thinks she’s a bad influence on her. And she’s kind of right. Claire catches Alex and Skyler in Alex’s bedroom about to shave their heads after skipping class. Yep bad influence. Claire does the reverse psychology trick and grabs the shears and eggs them on, but when she goes to do Skyler’s she accidentally cuts a big chunk of her hair and there goes that friendship. Alex is kind of relieved when she tells Haley about it, but God forbid Claire know.
Gloria and Jay are at a doctor’s appointment and they’re asked if they want to know the sex of the baby. Which is weird, because I would have thought with how big she is they would already know, but apparently not. Gloria says no and Jay says yes. Gloria wins. And speaking of Gloria being big. She is getting bigger, which is also weird, because I feel like we’re going backwards in her pregnancy when everyone else is moving forward. I could swear she was bigger in the previous episode, but anyway she’s getting bigger, and she doesn’t want to admit that her clothes won’t fit. So when she plays hooky with Manny and what’s supposed to be a cute sweater now looks like a belly shirt about to burst, it takes Manny’s persuasion to get her to wear maternity clothes. I really feel a lot of inconsistency right now with the Jay and Gloria story. In the previous episode she was wearing a maternity dress and proud of how much she was showing, and now she’s not, and isn’t showing as much. So odd.
Mitchell and Cam are at odds, because now that Lily is in school, Cam is finding himself to have a lot of free time. So Mitchell proposes that Cam go back to work. To which Cam gets defensive thinking that Mitchell doesn’t think he does anything. He’s got a master project that’s secret. He does things. So Mitchell devises a plan to go shop at a new store that a mutual friend runs, and have this friend offer Cam a job. Cam would be perfect for the job, and he agrees because it wasn’t Mitchell suggesting it. They think they’ve pulled it off until an associate named Jeoux (Joe for the non-fancy) ruins it and blabs the plan not thinking Cam is in the vicinity. The jig is up and Cam is upset. So back at home Cam has a bag packed for Mitchell ready to kick him out. It’s really just a melodramatic thing. Mitchell apologizes and tells Cam he doesn’t think he’s lazy. Cam talks again of his master project, and that Mitchell has never asked what it is. That’s because he was told not to. So Cam pulls it out and drum roll…..it’s a mermaid costume for the cat. Cam’s gonna go back to work.
Phil is preparing to go to his doctor appointment by eating ice cream when Claire calls saying she can’t take him, and that she’s made arrangements for someone else to take him, and she’ll be there to bring him home. Jay shows up at the door ready to take Phil and says “let’s go chop chop.” It’s funny. So at the doctor’s office, Phil is nervous about how much it will hurt, and Jay tries to tell him it will feel like a pinch. He’s got him convinced until a guy walks by wincing in pain. Out the door goes Phil. Jay has to chase him down, and talk him into going back, but also expresses his feelings of wanting a boy, because he doesn’t think he’s sensitive enough for a girl. Phil tells Jay he’s sensitive because he was able to calm him down. So it looks like Phil is getting fixed and Jay gets to be surprised on the baby. Claire finally makes it just before Phil goes in for the procedure and says that she’s changed her mind, she wants five more years before they make this decision. Phil agrees. I guess he’s not getting fixed.
Best of the episode: Alex trying to be goth and rebel. She didn’t look half bad.
Worst of the episode: The inconsistency that’s going on. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like this pregnancy of Gloria’s is all over the place.
Where did this episode leave us?: Knowing there’s a chance that Phil and Claire could get pregnant because they opted out of the vasectomy.
Best one-liner: Jay – “I’m having a baby at 65. You want another surprise, Gloria? Buy yourself a box of Cracker Jacks.”
What the episode ruined for us: Bench advertisements
– a la Chryshele