Modern Family – Schooled

S04xE02 – Haley is going off to college and Phil and Clare are trying to be strong about it. Well Clare is, and she packs her a large box of condoms just to prove it. Phil plans to cry like a baby when they leave her in the dorm. Haley is saying goodbye to Alex and they actually seem as if they like each other. When Haley says goodbye to Luke, he’s wearing a mask to hide his tears. It’s cute.

Jay and Gloria are going to a baby rearing class, but they can’t take it seriously. The couples around them don’t appreciate their humor or behavior. Gloria swaddles the baby doll like it’s a burrito, nice and tight so nothing gets out. The teacher shows you have to do it a little more loose, so the baby can breathe. She’s got a point. The teacher is clearly annoyed with them and their attitude and so she sarcastically asks them to share some of their wisdom, and Gloria talks about letting a goat watch Manny when he was five, and Jay’s cure to teething is to give the baby whiskey. Yeah they gotta leave now. When they get home Manny is sitting there ready to scold them for cutting class. He’s worried that this baby won’t be able to survive Gloria’s lax parenting skills. Jay assures Manny that the baby will be fine, because it will have both parents to take care of it, unlike Manny. That relieves him, and he’s ok now.

Cam and Mitchell are taking Lily to her first day of school, and as they are dropping her off, she gets her hair pulled by a boy on the playground. Cam nearly threatens the boys life, and now both men are in trouble with the principle. Whoops. The parents of the boy, Connor, are called into school and we find out that they are lesbians. So out comes every stereotype you can find against both lesbians and gay men. To make everyone get along, the parents are given a homework assignment which is to have a play date together. So they do, and it goes from good to bad to worse to ok. Lily and Connor lock themselves in her room because they love each other and Lily doesn’t want Connor to leave. It’s cute, but a little premature for those kind of feelings.

Phil and Clare are now at the college with Haley and helping her to unpack, but in the process of doing so, manage to embarrass Haley several times. One by Phil wearing a shirt that says Haley Dunphy Moving Co., and Two by Clare ordering the wrong bedding, so now Haley has My Little Pony sheets, and Three Clare knocks Haley’s bag over and all the condoms fall everywhere in front of Haley’s new dorm roommate and roommate’s father, but not before Phil squeezes the bottom of dorm roommate thinking it’s Clare. Things are going well. Haley gets so embarrassed she asks them to leave. So Phil gives her his gift which is his book Phil’s-osophy and she accepts it half graciously. But after she has a loner moment in the cafeteria she realizes she’s going to miss home, and let’s her parents know she love them, and Phil’s book.

Best of the episode: Phil’s book. I feel this season might be on the right track to rival with the first season. And this excites me. At least this episode was up to par.

Worst of the episode: The stereotyping of the lesbians. I know they were doing it on purpose, but it wasn’t that funny. The jokes fell flat to me.

Where did this episode leave us?: Wanting to hear more Phil-ism’s. The fact that he had a leather bound book made is hilarious. And thoughtful.

Best one-liner: Excerpts from Phil’s book Phil’s-osophy: “Always look people in the eye even if they’re blind. Just say I’m looking you in the eye.” “If you get pulled over for speeding, just tell the officer your spouse has diarrhea.” “Watch a sunset at least once a day.”

What the episode ruined for us: Baby rearing classes


– a la Chryshele


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