New Girl – Neighbors

S02xE04 – Jess has a new job working at the Casserole Shanty. It’s awesome, she gets to wear a visor and apparently shorts, so she can get burns. She needs the benefits, so she’ll take it. On her down time she’s been watching 80’s tv and perfecting her impressions. There’s Urkel, Balki, and another I couldn’t tell. She sucks, but it’s ok.

The new neighbors come to the door to briefly introduce themselves, but more importantly let them know that they will be throwing a party, so it might get loud. Automatically Schmidt thinks he’s invited because everyone loves him and he’s young and hip. The new neighbors choose option (d) “none of the above”, but he doesn’t know that. Sad for Schmidt.

Schmidt tells the group that he’s going to live until he’s 123 according to this website he’s a member to, Winston realizes that per this same website, he should already be dead. I guess Winston doesn’t live the healthy life like Schmidt. Nick decides to prank Schmidt and make him think that he’s aging, so he removes an 1/8″ out the right sole in every one of Schmidt’s shoes. Result? Sore hip. Nick then pees in a jug so he can pour it on Schmidt’s mattress so he will think he’s incontinent. Gross. Nick also goes as far as to take the cushioning out of Schmidt’s chair, and fix the growth chart line that Schmidt records. Now Schmidt thinks he’s shrinking. It’s kind of funny.

So in between Nick’s pranks, they all decide to go to the neighbor’s party, but as soon as Nick and Winston get a look in the apartment, they bolt. I guess it’s just Jess and Schmidt. The party isn’t really a party because no one showed up, so the roommates/triad & fourth wheel are chilling. Schmidt tries to fit in, but fails. Jess knocks something over and does her Urkel impression and she wins. Plus she’s a hipster like them, so I think they were biased anyway.

That night when Jess gets home, she tells Nick and Winston how much they hate Schmidt, and they’re not surprised. If Nick had a dollar for everytime someone hated Schmidt, he’d be a rich man, gas tank full kind of rich. Jess is crushing it with the new neighbors and her “original” impressions. Especially the Stephanie of Full House’s “How Rude”. She’s a hit! Too bad Schmidt can’t say the same thing. He tries really hard, going as far as trying to dress the part, but again fails. They just don’t like him. Jess starts to feel bad for Schmidt and owns up to her secret. She didn’t come up with the Urkel and shows them it’s from a tv show. It’s sweet.

Winston decides he’s not going to let his life get away from him, so he goes barging into the radio station, and tells them he has 3 years to live, wants his own show and won’t take no for an answer. It worked because now he has his show. Later the neighbors stop by and tell Jess that they don’t care that she stole her bit from a low budget webisode (what???) and they still want to be friends. Schmidt asks them why they hate him so much for being older. And they tell him it’s not because he’s older, it’s because he’s an ass-head. Schmidt is relieved. He’s used to being an ass-head. Why else would there be a douchebag jar?

Best of the episode: Schmidt trying too hard to fit in with the group. He just doesn’t know when to stop, which makes for great tv.

Worst of the episode: The urine portion of Nick’s prank. It was funny up until that part. That’s just wrong.

Where did this episode leave us: It looks like Jess will be working at the Casserole Shanty for a bit. Gotta do what you gotta do.

Best one-liner: Schmidt on his slow aging ability – “I’m like a Jewish Peter Pan.”

What this episode ruined for us: 80’s tv


– a la Chryshele


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