The Neighbors – Journey to the Center of the Mall

S01xE02 – Debbie Weaver is having recurring nightmares about Larry Bird and Jackie Joyner-Kersee eating her children. She seems to be really worried about it and talks to Larry and Jackie about it, to which they try to reassure her that is not their intention. Later that day Dick Butkus comes to their door and is dressed like an 80 year old golf player threw up on him, Debbie asks Dick if that’s what he’s wearing to school and Dick tells her that he’s not allowed to go to school with the humans. So the Weavers take him back home and talk with Larry and Jackie about Dick and Reggie Jackson going to school. Larry and Jackie are reluctant at first, but the Weavers talk them into it and then tell them they need to get them new clothes to wear that are more suitable for school. Off to the mall they go, but first Larry leaves Dominique Wilkins in charge should anything happen to him while they are away after finding out they won’t be able to drive their golf carts, and will need to ride in the Weaver’s mini-van. Our new favorite alien family is convinced they are about to die in this contraption that has no shield around it for safety.

Once they finally make it to the mall, it’s like the Zabvronians have stepped onto a whole new planet aside from Earth. Everything is an adventure to them starting with the automatic doors, to the escalator and then the food court, not that they eat food. Larry and Marty head off to find Larry some new clothing while the women take the younger children to get them their own new clothes. During this time Debbie has continually asked Jackie if she plans to eat her children, to which Jackie each time tells her no, it’s not their plan. Jackie then shares her own concerns she’s had since meeting the Weavers, which is that they will tell someone about them being aliens, or that her children will be revealed somehow in school. Jackie is also worried that humans are much more savage than initially thought by way of eating their own (kids meals or manwiches anyone?). Debbie and Jackie bond over their concerns, it’s sweet. Meanwhile Reggie has been following Amber around the mall, and he reveals his love for her, and she ignores it as though she doesn’t care, but you see a smirk on her face showing she does. Larry and Marty have an adventure of their own while looking for clothes for Larry, and just when you think progress has been made, Larry shows up with both families in view naked only wearing a jacket. He’s still trying to get a grasp on the whole appearing human thing. He’ll come around. The families make it back to the neighborhood safely in the end just as Dominique is establishing new rules. He’s outwardly upset that Larry survived. Oh well.

Best of the episode: Watching the Zabvronians experience the Mall for the first time. Thinking about it, it would be an odd experience to see all the different places contained within one building. I really do have high hopes for this show. It’s just the right kind of quirky I love.

Worst of the episode: A naked Larry Bird. Granted it was innocent on his part, but no one wants to see that.

Where this episode leaves us: Convinced that the kid who plays Dick Butkus is really an alien. He has that look man.

Best one-liner: Debbie – “Kids meals are not made from kids, I mean no one knows what they’re made from, but it’s not kids.”

What this episode ruined for us: Sports Jackets


– a la Chryshele


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