S02xE03 – Jess goes to Nick’s bedroom because her sort of boyfriend booty called her. She gave the guy crayons and is now asking Nick what to do? Oy. Jess will someday learn. Winston knocks Schmidt’s belt, he says its for Kanye, Nick tells Schmidt he could be a Romney. Jess interrupts as per usual and talks about Sam showing up and how it was awkward. How do the boys solve this? They want to take her out. Schmidt ditches out and brings Winston to a club where Kanye is supposed to be so the date ends up being Nick and Jess. Oh, finally we get this moment. She wants to date him, you can tell.
Winston tells Schmidt that he and Shelby are in a rut and Schmidt’s whale belt won’t let him in the club, it’s kind of a bummer. They refer to to Scmidt as Tagg Romney and that gets them in the club. Newsflash, Mormons don’t go to clubs.
Jess snuck a thermos of white wine in and it’s a little obvious. They get drunk and part ways, again it’s kind of a bummer.
Turns out CeCe is in the club, no sign of Kanye. However she is removed by Winston when a pretty lady finds out they’re a Romney up in hurr and wants some of that. The following morning, Jess thanks Nick for her meaningless sex. Winston tells Nick he is now Jess’s fluffer, he is her boyfriend without the rewards. It’s pretty much true.
Schmidt started calling Mitt Romney dad. It’s official.
Jess enlists Nick to build her Ikea furniture. He tells her that he does not want to be her fluffer. Now the line is crossed. Boyfriend without rewards, she seems intrigued. They both admit they’ve “thought” about it. Aw. So now they talk about how annoying they find each other and basically everything Nick says about Jess is true, but Jess is a liar.
Schmidt Romney (see what I did there) is entertaining the club lady, and she invites all of her Romney supporter fans over. They start to suspect he isn’t a Romney at the mention of alcohol. Should have done your research, Schmidt.
Jess and Sam are hanging out, in her trying to tell him she needs more, he says that’s a no go. Winston and Nick have a conversation about Nick’s fight with Jess. No boundaries were set. NO ADELE. Winston sets the boundaries: Do not build Jess a dresser unless you want to share it with her.
Romney gals know that he is not an official Romney. He leaves. That was easy. GOD BLESS AMURICA.
Schmidt calls CeCe about his problems, he’s having Taylor Swift-like emotions, but Winston cannot stop staring at her boobs. Schmidt’s dad left when he was eight while his dad started a new family. CeCe tells him to call his dad.
Shelby and I are similar. We like SVU and want to calm down with television. They’re comfortable and Winston just needs to accept that.
Nick builds Jess’s dresser. He wants to do it and he cares for her. They decide they don’t need boundaries, they just do what they want to do, they just can’t mess up what they have because everyone would be sad.
Best of the episode: Seeing Nick and Jess get closer. And Tugg (not Tagg) Romney.
Worst of the episdode: I don’t feel they got close enough.
Where did this episode leave us: Will Nick and Jess ever get together? HE MAKES HER TOLERABLE.
Best one-liner: Schmidt about summers at the Romney cabin- “I’m sure it’s like the real Olympics, only the white people win the sprints.”
What this episode ruined for us: Ikea.