S03xE02 – Mike and Molly are writing their thank you cards for their wedding gifts. Mike’s handwriting totally sucks and so does his spelling and Molly is worried that they’re running out of cute kitten cards that say “Thank Mew”. Aw. While talking about the gifts they wish they’d got over what they received, they hear Molly’s mom having sex with Vince. Everybody cringes, even me. Vince is kind of disgusting. Mike mentions how he’s used to it and that it’s like listening to the ocean. And I’m officially grossed out. They then hear a huge scream from Vince, and Molly’s mother comes running into their room saying Vince is hurt. They go into Joyce’s room and there’s a naked Vince with a blanket on him, thank God, lying on the floor. He’s hurt his back and can’t move. After asking them to move him, and not roll him over because he has an hour left on the viagra, we cut to the next morning. Joyce comes down saying she gave Vince a percocet and he should be set for the day, but then you hear him calling her, and we see that Mike has brought him down to the couch. He then starts asking for someone to make him food. It seems everyone has bolted, so that leaves Molly to feed him. Vince calls himself baby bear and Molly is going to kill him.
Mike is at the cafe with Carl and Samuel showing them his pictures from his honeymoon, and they are all of Mike eating in front of a place, like the Eiffel Tower and Louvre. Hey with all of their delicious pastries there, I would probably be eating in all of my pictures too. Mike hands them their thank you cards and Carl gives it back saying Mike has to mail it to him. Carl didn’t put in all that work to get him a gift just to have his thank you card handed to him. Good for you Carl.
Molly comes home from work and Vince hears her, but where is he? Unfortunately in the bathroom. Molly tries to avoid going in by attempting to sneak back out, but Vince is relentless and Molly goes in. Vince is in the tub and there is no coverage. Poor Molly, no one should see that. Molly throws a towel to cover himself up, and he asks her to help him out because the water’s cold. So as she tries to help him out, she slips on his conditioned arms and hands and falls right in touching his thingy. Oh so very gross! Next we see that Molly has managed to get him out of the tub, and he is now on the floor wrapped up. Molly starts to drag him by his feet from the bathroom and back into the living room. She leaves him on the floor calling it good, but he begs her to get him back on the couch. And I guess she does though we don’t see it happen.
Molly is now in the kitchen making Vince his soup when Victoria comes home asking what’s going on, when Molly tells her, Victoria takes off like the Flash. Next Mike comes home and Molly immediately puts him to work making him feed Vince soup, but when Mike complains, Molly goes into what she’s had to do and lifts the blanket off Vince and yells at Mike to look at Vince’s penis, so he can experience what she did. Look at it! Mike shuts up and starts feeding Vince his soup.
Joyce finally comes home from wherever she’s been, and when she sees Molly and Vince she high tails it back out the door. Molly follows after Joyce and finds out that her mom is stressing that Vince was supposed to be her young stud, but now he’s broken so she’s uncomfortable being around him. Molly convinces her that it’s for better or for worse and Joyce agrees. Mom’s home!
Mike is back at the cafe with Carl and Samuel and they’ve both received their thank you cards in the mail, but they were for the wrong gifts. Earlier Mike had realized he screwed up on his list and he was off by one gift. Both guys are bitter about it. Mike messed up for sure.
Best of the episode: Hands down Molly taking care of Vince. The bathtub scene was priceless, and Molly making Mike look at Vince’s “pinky” as she calls it, all while Vince is reminding Molly he’s still a human being was hilarious.
Worst of the episode: Naked Vince oiled up on the floor. He looked like something out of a sleaze magazine that only an 80-year-old ex stripper would look at. Too harsh?
Where did this episode leave us?: Questioning if Joyce and Vince are actually going to get married. It seems that Joyce has a lot of reservations, and I don’t blame her. She could do a lot better than Vince.
Best one-liner: Molly explaining her day with Vince to Mike – “I can still hear his squeaky butt cheeks dragging across the bathroom tile.”
What the episode ruined for us: Conditioner
– a la Chryshele