S04xE01 – It’s Jay’s birthday and he doesn’t want any surprises. Well too bad there because he’s going to find out that Gloria is pregnant. Surprise Jay. Phil decides to kidnap Jay for his birthday and it’s not going well. Does a bag over the head and having your hands tied ever really go well? During the botched kidnap we go visit Mitchell and Cam who have to deal with the fact that they won’t be adopting a new baby. They think they are handling it ok, until they realize they still have to tell Lily about it. Lily seems to take the news in stride, but now she wants a kitten and name it Larry.
Back to Jay’s kidnapping, which is going wrong as you’d think it would with Phil involved. Jay almost drowns when he tries to break away from the bang up job they’ve done so far, and falls off the dock. They were trying to get him into a fishing boat, but I don’t really see how that could have ever worked. While Jay is away, Gloria take the opportunity to tell Manny that she’s pregnant and unfortunately he shares her fear that Jay won’t take the news well.
Over at the Dunphy house, Haley’s hungover after prom and Dylan slept on the couch. Clare’s upset. I know, she’s always upset about something, and if a hungover teenage daughter wasn’t enough, Haley then has the nerve to ask if Dylan can live there for a couple weeks. Of course Clare is not ok with this idea, and tells Haley so while she makes her a “hangover cure” drink. Really it’s a bunch of nasty crap blended together to make her sick. Genius.
Jay’s birthday isn’t getting any better when Phil behind the wheel of the boat throws Jay off while speeding away. Really would you expect anything else? Mitchell and Cam are trying to adopt a cat to appease Lily (and Cam), but it’s almost as difficult as adopting a baby, and Mitchell can’t handle it so he walks away. Cam decides to give the adoption lady a piece of his mind, but it falls flat because of the two large stuffed animals humping on top of their car. Yep you read that right.
The family is gathering at Jay and Gloria’s home to celebrate Jay’s birthday and while they await Jay’s arrival, Dylan continues to try really hard to talk Clare into letting him live with them, but is failing miserably. When Jay walks in the door, Clare quickly pulls him aside to tell him someone has some really important news and to be nice about it. Apparently Jay has a tendency to speak before he thinks, and his words are hurtful. Cam and Mitchell walk through the door right after this conversation announcing they’re getting a cat. Jay thinks this is the important news and is super encouraging. Yeah wrong important news. Manny is upset because Luke had told him that he won’t be the only child anymore and therefore won’t get all the attention once the baby’s born, so when Jay is telling the dog to not be jealous of a cat, Manny thinks Jay is talking to him, and ends up blurting out Gloria’s big news. Jay is actually thrilled about the baby to Gloria’s relief, and they hug it out. And as this hug is occurring, we get a really weird spin around the room and we find ourselves nearly nine months later. Phil has a beard, Mitchell and Cam went to London, Dylan and Haley are still shockingly together, and Gloria is about to pop. Oh and it looks like Dylan got to live with them after all.
Best of the episode: Jay being happy that he was going to be a father again. Even if he did just turn 65.
Worst of the episode: The jumping ahead. I feel like we missed out on some good humor with a pregnant Gloria.
Where did this episode leave us?: Sad that Phil couldn’t keep his Fu Manchu. Also curious as to why they skipped ahead nine months, and how Dylan talked Clare into letting him live with them. My guess is Phil had a play in it.
Best one-liner: Phil to Luke – “don’t be disrespectful, Luke, anyone could do it with Gloria” after Luke thought it was disgusting she’s pregnant by Jay.
What the episode ruined for us: The chance to watch Gloria get fat, and Clare’s amusement as it happens.
– a la Chryshele