S04xE02 – I’m going into this optimistically, considering it’s redundant, but I love Britney. Okay. We open with a monologue from Britney S. Pierce about how she is on top of the world…and then a song by Britney Spears…Hold It Against Me. I wonder if the re-do of Britney has anything to do with The X Factor? Yes? Anyone? So after Britney asks us to hold us against her on the football field, she receives a motivational speech from Sue Sylvester about how she is failing and kicks her off the Cheerios, replacing her with Kitty. A phone call from her girlfriend Santana should motivate her but Santana is busy, too. That’s okay, Britney has her cat, Lord Tubbington. After a short visit to Nyada where Rachel has no one to tango with, we’re back at McKinley with Mr. Schue and Emma the counselor trying her best to help Britney after she lost her identity. Luckily they can perform at a pep rally so Mr. Schue pushes for Britney week, again. The best of Britney. Bring Britney back, etc. So they show us by having Blaine and Artie sing Boys which was pretty uncomfortable. Oh it’s a mashup with If I Was Your Boyfriend which I am unfamiliar with. It must be now.
Rachel and Kurt finally get a place in the city and they bond over some pizza. This takes me back to original Glee. Oh man. Kurt realizes that Kate Hudson is Rachel’s dance teacher and explains what a trainwreck she is. Back at McKinley Unique informs Marley that she should not enjoy Jake because he is a womanizer? Queue Womanizer. With that we end up back in NYC where Rachel runs into Mystery Boy (I finally learned his name is Brody), where Rachel invites him to be her tango partner. This gives me feels that I’m unsure of, like a pair of Doc Martins I really wanted in 7th grade but I wasn’t sure they were the cool kind, but they game me smiles. We cut immediately back at McKinley (*author note, one day I’ll figure out nice transitions) where Joe, Tina and Trouty Mouth are singing 3 and holy mother of baby Jesus it’s the best thing I’ve heard thus far. Thank you ever so much Glee God’s. THIS gives me feels. It makes me remember why I love Trouty Mouth, it reminds me that Tina has a fantastic voice and it reminds me that Joe is the best addition to Glee by far and he needs to just sing every song. And I’m sorry I was distracted by Britney really wanting to shave her head and that was kind of hilarious. No high pony or die. “Leave Britney alone!” Whack something with an umbrella. Happy 2009.
Now that there is a distraction, Marley can hang out with Jake on the bleachers and give him a chance. A CHANCE TO SING. (You Drive Me) Crazy is very fitting for this moment. They don’t give me feels though they have very good voices. Okay stop. JUST STOP. Okay. Somehow the Glee Gods threw in some of Aerosmiths Crazy with this and I can’t handle that because it’s beautiful. FEELS. I’m not sure what else happened, I was busy feeling.
After an intervention, Britney decides she will lipsync at the pep rally which is collectively a bad idea. Rachel shows her sexy stuff to Kate Hudson with a rather enticing version of Oops I Did It Again (okay Glee you’re 3 for however many songs you’ve done, nice comeback). And I truly believe that they choreographed that routine in a matter or a few days/hours. Yes. I do. In the meantime, Jake gets in a fight with some boys in the cafeteria over Marley which somehow inspires Mr. Schue to introduce him to Puck. Original Puck that is. And now they bond.
At the pep club Britney gives a half performance of Gimme More before passing out and therefore resigning from Glee Club. Rachel has a moment with Kate Hudson where she gives her a second chance to be in dance class, begrudgingly I might add.
Trouty Mouth helps Britney through her tough time and encourages her to make a comeback…they drop The X Factor line, and plan to move forward. Britney (as class president) re-instates herself in the Cheerios, Sue agrees if she turns around her grades it will be done. Brody shows up at Rachel’s house with a flower, Kurt leaves them alone to get Italian cake. And Brody wants to kiss her and she misses Finn. But urgh. Feels. Again.
Now we find out that Jake is dating Kitty the cheerleader. What a dbag, after defending Marley I thought he had a chance. And so Marley closes us with MY favorite Britney song of ever, Everytime. Punch me, why don’t ya?
Best of the episode: Uh the feels?
Worst of the episode: Artie and Blaine singing Boys was really awkward for some reason.
Where this episode leaves us: Rachel paints over her Finn collage/name/thing in her apartment and finally gets a dance partner, Britney still hasn’t heard from Santana and all I know is next week we get Carrie Bradshaw and Trouty Mouth yelling ‘Merica.
Best one-liner: Britney S. Pierce- “I finally know how Jesus feels in his home up in the North Pole.”