S01xE03 – Bryan and Shania are folding baby clothes when David walks in and freaks out on Bryan because they agreed not to buy any clothes until after the health tests. Bryan agrees and blames it on Shania saying she dragged him into the store where he ended up critiquing a baby model show. Adorbs! David tells Bryan he needs to return all the clothes until after the test results. Bryan’s response? When can the baby be a joyous occasion? That would be after the 12th week, or so that’s what the doctor says. Bryan gets sad face. David starts talking about all the potential birth defects, to which the doctor includes red heads. Bryan’s sad face turns to shock face, and Goldie joins in.
While folding baby clothes, Shania had asked if she could hold onto a skirt, which she goes to school wearing as a crop top. A couple of the “popular” girls give her a hard time about her top, but what seems to be the boy of choice by all the girls, takes interest in Shania. Boys. Goldie gets a text from Shania saying the new top Bryan gave her is helping her to make friends, so Goldie decides she wants to go buy Shania more clothes at the outlet mall. Bryan and David offer to drive her instead of her taking the bus, because they are against it. While at the mall, Goldie asks David his opinion on a top for Shania and he gets all cancer prone preachy about it, so she asks for Bryan and he’s nowhere to be found. David goes to look for him and finds him in the baby clothes section. Of course. Bryan and David have a little heart to heart about how cute it would be to dress up their baby and kiss. A small family happen to be walking by and witness their kiss, and the guy asks them not to do it so he doesn’t have to go home and explain to his daughter what happened. Mind your own business douche. Bryan won’t let it pass, and tells him he’s being a bigot and that he shouldn’t be stopping love, but promoting it. The guy says he’s just tyring to protect his family and Bryan says they’re having a baby and will be a family themselves. The guy tells him it’s disgusting and walks away. Bryan’s sad face returns, and I get one too.
NanaBigot shows up to pick up Shania from school where she finds Shania kissing the boy who likes her top. Nanabigot freaks out about her top and her kissing the boy. Uh oh. Bryan is folding the clothes that are to be returned and is clearly upset about the guy in the mall. David tries to console him whilst shrugging off the occurrence, but it’s not working because Bryan’s upset about David’s reaction now too. Bryan’s passionate about the prejudice that could befall on his future child and how he’s worried about protecting it from hate, whereas David’s stance is about letting it go and maybe it will go away. Yeah probably not.
Nanabigot is at planned parenthood because she apparently thinks that Shania needs to be on the pill and the boy use condoms now. You know because kissing leads to sex when you’re 9. Cut to David in line for a smoothie at the gym. There’s a mentally challenged person at the front of the line who is taking his time ordering. A jerk of a man is behind David and whining. Jerk man calls mentally challenged dude a retard and David stands up for him by punching out jerk man, but then get’s called the dirty fa* word by mentally challenged dude. So much for being a good Samaritan.
Bryan and Goldie are at the doctor’s office when David walks in and tells his story. They’re there waiting for the doctor to perform the tests. Goldie tells them she actually heard the confrontation at the mall, and should have gone and stood up for them. Aw touching. The doctor then comes in to perform the tests. They find the fetus has a heartbeat. Now it’s real.
Next we find Goldie at a conference with Shania’s teacher, Nanabigot and the boy and his mother. Turns out the boy’s mother is ok with Nanabigot dragging the kids to planned parenthood. Weird. But then we see the boy is a dirty little horndog when he puts the moves on Nanabigot. Wrong. Nanabigot is seriously stressing about Shania having sex and it turns out she’s concerned about a cycle of teen pregnancy that seems to be happening within the family. Makes sense, just not how she handled it.
Luckily the jerk man David punched out isn’t pressing charges, and finds out that jerk man just got engaged to his boyfriend after David shared that he’s going to be having a baby with Bryan, explaining his actions before. It turns out the jerk is really mentally challenged dude after he spouts off a bunch of derogatory slurs towards David and who I call Alright Guy now. David and Alright Guy get kicked out of the gym for fighting, but not mentally challenged dude, because it’s ok according to gym policy to be a bigot, as long as you’re not violent. David comes home and tells Bryan he was right, that he needs to let joy in his life and he presents Bryan with a baby sweat suit. Adorbs again! They discuss that the baby will have it’s hard times, but will be loved.
Goldie, Shania and Nanabigot show up because Shania has to tell them she has to give back the baby skirt because it’s too mature for her. Yep. Nanabigot gives the boys a gift of baby clothes shockingly. And just when you think she’s coming around, we see the outfit says “please help me”. It’s better than something offensive I guess. They ask them to stay for dinner and even Nanabigot stays.
Best of the episode: Shania exuding her indepence and unique qualities. Albeit not necessarily the way she could have, but nonetheless, being who she is.
Worst of the episode: All the jerk faces that were present with their intolerance and bigotry. Nanabigot was the least horrible this time around.
Where did this episode leave us?: Honestly wondering how much of an agenda show this is going to be. Every episode thus far has focused more on intolerance and bigotry in its many forms, than it has on the actual premise of the show. Or maybe this is the premise of the show…
Best one-liner: Bryan – “That baby model was a perfect like, 12-8-12”
What the episode ruined for us: Baby skirts as crop tops
– a la Chryshele